VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7], 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 18:10:03 03/18/03 Tue
Author: Sage
Author Host/IP: qam1c-sif-58.monroeaccess.net / 12.27.215.59
Subject: To the new "Babboo"

I brought this thead up here, Honey. You need to go buy yourself a copy of "Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother" by Lois Wyse. It is the Grandmothers' Bible.

In this little book, you will find everything you need to know about being a granny. There are chapters entitled "What will we name the Grandmother?", "The Plastic Grandma, or Shopalong Cassidy is on the Loose", "Grandmothers Rights", "Grandma, There's Something I have to Tell You", "Sex and the Single Grandmother", and "Heeeeeeeere's Grandma!"

Here's an excerpt from "What Will We Name The Grandmother?"

"From the day they tell you the home pregnancy test was positive until the day they tell you the baby is here, you will be allowed to consider the single most complex naming problem you are permitted to solve: what will the new baby call you."

*note from Sage: you don't get to do this twice. It must be settled before the arrival of the first grandchild:)

"Never mind that the new baby will not call you anything for quite a while. Never mind that even when the baby does talk, the name will be garbled. Still you have to decide what Baby will call you.

It is wise to remember immediately that you will not be asked what to name the baby. Instead the children will ask what you want to be called.

You will remind the children that you did not have to rename yourself when they were born. But your children are not listening."

And get used to it now because they will not want your advice. Before the baby is born, they will tell you how they are going to parent and you will nod. After the baby is born, they will show you how they parent and you will watch and smile. You can get away with very subtle questions, but you will reply "I see..." when your children answer. If you are on the phone with them, you are allowed to grit your teeth. If the granchildren are at your house, you can say, "your Mommy calls this a couch, but I call it a sofa." That is subtle vocabulary instruction and you can get away with that. You will also walk around spelling things like c-o-o-k-i-e and is-today-the-day-she-gets-her-shot?

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:



Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]


Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.