| Subject: Re: Anything in Little Rock or other parts of Arkansas? |
Author:
David
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Date Posted: 14:24:23 03/25/04 Thu
In reply to:
Lisa
's message, "Re: Anything in Little Rock or other parts of Arkansas?" on 12:30:24 02/28/04 Sat
Does any know of a support group in AR or the West Central part of AR. I have been reading Stop Walking on Eggshells and I Hate You, Don't leave me. This has been my marriage for 10 years. I didn't know others were experiencing the same thing. I just now am seeing reality.
David
>Hi there,
>
>I'm sorry to hear you're also (like me) involved with
>a bpd. We got screwed! BIG TIME!
>
>My husband is a catholic clergy abuse victim from a
>wealthy alcoholic, etc., family. Our first year of
>courtship was
>incredible - I truly believed I'd had the phenomonal
>luck to finally meet Prince Charming. However - 3
>weeks after our marriage - he began to convert into a
>sorry mess of a human being.
>
>I first believed it must be because I was a terrible
>wife - (totally my fault), then (after a year or two)
>I believed that if I got him help for his abuse/family
>issues, etc., he'd recover and I'd have my prince back
>again. So - I led a campaign to the church, hired an
>attorney and found him the best and most expensive
>counselors in the country - we even moved to another
>state to get away from all of his painful memories.
>Afterall - standing by your husband is what good wives
>do, right? WRONG!
>
>It's taken me 10 years of debilitating emotional abuse
>and neglect (as well as $62,840.00 for counselors and
>medication and treatments and books) to finally find a
>psychiatrist who has diagnosed BPD. DUH!!! How come it
>took so long??? So - now after this decade of raging
>damage I'm now depressed (on prozac), no longer
>interested in all the things I used to love, and I'm
>completely hopeless about the future seeing as EVEN IN
>THERAPY - he's still cycling through his "splitting",
>"hoovering" and "crisis" about every 24-36 hours. I
>know that sooner or later I will be so lost in this
>mess I will truly be unable to do anything to protect
>myself or get on with my life.
>
>In essence - through the years I've become his victim.
>I used to be incredibly strong - very active -
>contributing all over the place person. Now it's a
>supreme effort to get up in the morning and get myself
>to work. I'm truly losing it and am afraid that I'm no
>longer capable of pulling myself out of this very deep
>hole.
>
>I think I should leave for mental health sake - but I
>have no energy or inclination to do so. Further - he's
>constantly telling me "if you just believed in me THIS
>time then I might be able to make a go of it, but if
>you don't support me I won't be able to get better".
>(This is after 10 years of lost jobs, outright lies,
>financial ruin, broken dreams, rages, etc.) He's right
>though - I don't believe a word he says - why would I?
>Yet - he makes it my responsibiity to do so (or
>"you're not doing what wives need to do for their
>husband's").
>
>I have - in the past - bailed him out of everything,
>paid the bills, kept my teaching job for 10 years and
>remodeled the house - all while he was accessing gay
>porno sites and telling me how "hurt" he was by his
>childhood traumas. Isn't there a point where a wife no
>longer has to tolerate this crazy behavior?
>(Rhetorical question). I'm on my second marriage and I
>really wanted this to work. I don't want to fail in
>another relationship, nor do I want the guilt
>associated with leaving a very sick person. Does
>anyone in Arkansas relate to what I'm writing here?
>
>I know he's wrong and sick and lost - yet - I'm still
>here treading water in a shark tank. I need some help
>from real live people who understand the psychology
>behind this terrible disease called "BPD".
>
>I've read Walking on Eggshells and am in the middle of
>the workbook. This is now creating more problems
>because I no longer listen to his 'cons' and he can't
>manipulate me as much as he used to. So now - He's
>REALLY mad most of the time. I'm afraid and ashamed
>most of the time, but, I'm beginning to actually
>beieve that maybe life without him wouldn't be so bad
>afterall. At least I'd sleep at night instead of
>listen to him talk about his anger and fear. Do they
>EVER give it up and get on with life? I think not!!!
>
>If anyone is interested in conversing - please write
>back. I'd truly appreciate your input.
>
>Thanks so much. Lisa
>
>
>
>>>I just realized that my boyfriend has BPD. He had me
>>>believing that I was at fault for everything. If you
>>>know of anything remotely near me, please send an
>>>email message to me. Thank you!!
>>
>>I just got to this website now. I've had xbpgf and
>>she is continuing to hoover me. I am in central
>>Arkansas. Please contact me. I had no idea there
>>were others in Arkansas. But then again, now it
>>doesn't surprise me.
>>
>>I hope to hear from you.
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