Game Recap--5/20 -- Proforma Pirates

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Date Posted: 10:04:44 05/21/02 Tue
Author: The Fingernator
Subject: Game Recap--5/20

After sailing the seas of the BSAL with as much success as Kevin Costner in Waterworld, chasing battleships with the equivalent of a one armed man rowing a boat, we finially spotted through our telescope the metaphorical Cubans on a beiruit table tied together with Firestone tires, drifitng aimlessly through the same ocean. It was up to Greybeard Spinelli, Redbreard Burnes, and the rest of the Pirates to say "aye aye matey" and take down the Clients and the Coop in a doubleheader. There were some new additions as another member of the Spinelli/Burnes Clan made his debut, and perhaps sensing rising tensions, Jurk signed another Fairfield Baseball Bruiser to a 10-day contract, one that may be extended.

In game one, the Pirates started off with a little bingo, putting some early runs on the board, and coasting to a W over the Coop. The game was not without drama, as the Pirates saw their 10 run 7th inning lead whittle down to a 4 run margin of victory, due to some overrun grounders, flyballs over the heads of the outfielders, and Papa Spinelli thinking that Charlie on the MTA was the 1st baseman, instead of yours truly. Nor did we escaped unscathed in the injury department, as Slugger Jay Tully caught the hamstring virus, which is spreading through the Pirates faster than the apathy we've seen from some over the past 2 weeks. All worked out, however, as starting pitcher Mike Lee picked up his first win of the season, and promptly took home the game ball, which he said he will mount next to his first paycheck from Wellington Management, both of which were a long time coming.

In the nightcap, the Pirates faced a Clients team that showed up with a 46 ounce bat and a third baseman that would make the drummer from Def Leppard look like Brooks Robinson. Frank Thomas from The Chicago White Sox also showed up to hit in the 5 hole for the clients. The battle was nip and tuck most of the way, until Tyson Tony Spinelli felt like he was being shown up by the opposing pitcher, and ran through the Clients 1st baseman, who looked like he was a contestant on WWF Tough Enough. Heated words endued, and Tyson Tony was heard to yell "I wish you all had babies so I could eat them" and "I don't usually talk to women, I just fornicate with them", when Hymen told him to settle down, Tony said "If you don't like it then turn off your station". Luckily, cooler heads prevailed, and the Pirates were able to hold on for the W. 1st baseman John Walsh was happy about that because he was in the line of fire for a retaliatory disregard of the safety bag. The Pirates will try to continue their streak, and get their winning percentage up to .333 against the 2 Bobs and Intitech on Wednesday.

******Special note, The Pirates will be holding a special Hamstring Donation Drive at the Brookline Knights of Columbus tomorrow before the game. Please get tested to see if you can donate some Hammy to our fallen soldiers*******

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