VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 17:23:00 01/15/16 Fri
Author: Kel
Subject: I didn't say we were born without a personality.....
In reply to: lily 's message, ""you're born with a clean slate" ? are you?" on 17:05:34 01/15/16 Fri

...or personality traits. Certainly anyone with a child knows that they come to you with some of who they are already etched into them.

I was trying to say that I believe that poor treatment almost always causes problems. If you look on a website that has older children up for adoption, it will often show you a picture, and describe the child's limitations, and maybe a little bit about their situation. It's amazing that not one of these kids seems to be devoid of issues. It's no wonder that the kid who was found abandoned by his mother has abandonment issues. Or that the child who was beaten is timid and shy. But beyond that, all sorts of other issues arrive - learning delays, learning disabilities, etc. Now, it could be said that maybe they weren't receiving any attention from their bad parents in education. And that's probably true. But is that the whole story? Probably not. But abuse and trauma breeds brokenness and disability.

That is NOT to say that a person with a good upbringing and experiences cannot and will not have brokenness and disability. But you can be damned sure that the statistics are NOT the same for those two groups of children.

My point was that when someone messes you up, you typically wind up..... messed up. Conversely, a good experience is most likely to lead to the best outcome. None of these are mutually exclusive, though - you can be mostly healthy and little screwed up, or vice versa.

I don't know if gay is in-born. It's supposed to be common knowledge now that it is. But it used to be common knowledge that margarine was better for you than butter. Or that the sun revolved around the Earth. Were these things scientifically proven? No. And neither is this. Personally, I think it's probably more like every other formation of our personality - a bit in-born, a bit upbringing, and some experiences. And voila - sexuality. Is it resistable? I dunno. At some point it doesn't matter when you're the straight spouse and you see your spouse too far in the other direction. In the end, it's a "this ain't what I signed up for" thing.

I know most people won't agree with me on the gay thing. And that's okay. To each his own. All I know is that if my ex could have fixed it, he either didn't try hard enough, or at all. I was left with the end result of someone who claims he didn't want to be gay, but was. After 16 years of that, clearly he wasn't going to just "turn" one day - whether he wanted to or not.

Kel

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-4
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.