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Date Posted: 21:40:20 05/20/16 Fri
Author: Still wondering (overanalyzers anonymous)
Subject: Re: Quote from Patti
In reply to: Lake Breeze 's message, "Re: Quote from Patti" on 20:37:59 05/20/16 Fri

My need to understand what was going on in his head and falling for all the therapists who told me the answer I wanted to hear which was "he's not gay, he just has different ideas of sex" cost me three extra years. I was determined that his way of thinking could be analyzed or understood. I was determined that there was a simple explanation for a man looking at gay porn. Surely there was, I just hadn't asked the right questions yet. WRONG. Patti was one of the first to help me understand that. She said it over and over and never let up. Us analyzers have an extremely hard time letting go because we think that just around the corner there HAS to be some explanation. When I finally grasped the idea that there is no right answer, there is no explanation, there is nothing that can explain away why a man would look at another man except for if he's gay...I finally let go and experienced peace.

The hilarious (not really) thing is that at that point, I wasn't even in love with him anymore, I just kept thinking if I could find the answer/explanation then I could fall back in love with him. Cut to three years later....thank God I finally gave up.

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