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Date Posted: 20:37:59 05/20/16 Fri
Author: Lake Breeze
Subject: Re: Quote from Patti
In reply to: Sue 's message, "Quote from Patti" on 19:19:05 05/20/16 Fri

Yes, this is a good quote, as are just about all comments from Patti.

I too am analytical and want to understand something thoroughly before I make any moves. I kept wondering and wondering what was wrong, and I wanted to figure it all out before I took any action. I never did really figure it all out, and I wound up in a terrible marriage for much longer than necessary because of it. I actually still keep trying to understand, but at least I do it living on my own now, and relating it to MY future, not his our "ours".

Sometimes the analyzing and overthinking really does produce good and beneficial results, but sometimes it doesn't - this is one of those times. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what was wrong with my marriage and was determined to stay until I could figure it out, and try to fix it. Well, he decided to leave, and he moved in with a man, and I still kept wracking my brain and looking for answers - long after it mattered anymore.

I continue to analyze the whole thing, and this site helps me do that, but it is with a different perspective now. Just get free and save yourself. If you continue to analyze along the way, that is fine, just make sure you are doing it in the framework of your own life and not his. The analyzing and attempts at understanding can help with moving forward, provided that you do it in the context of your own life exclusively and separate your independent needs from any that are connected to his or the marriage. (I hope this makes sense - it is a bit of a "free flow").

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