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Date Posted: 13:07:08 06/27/01 Wed
Author: J
Subject: Aw...
In reply to: Laura Gay 's message, "."...that's why I've been away if anyone cares." ..." on 12:42:59 06/27/01 Wed

(blushing)I didn't mean for "if anyone cares" to have any kind of weight to it! It was meant in the most causal sence because I know I'm part of a cyberfamily here at the Bar, and am thankful for it. But I appreciate the sentiments Laura, I really do. And it is very tough having that sword over you of a parent dying, even one whom I've been pretty much estranged to my whole life.

My Dad-what a poor bastard he is! Had a previous wife and child walk out on him. Was brought up an asshole and has nothing in the way of nurturing whatsoever-even by mid 20th century Appalachia standards. The only time he interacted with me for much of my childhood was to punish me or yell. The only thing me and him ever did together was rifle shooting through the Civilian Marksmanship Program. Pretty much spent whatever money got into his pocket until he was in a sea of debt-and then got cancer and lost his savings. He wasn't the same afterward, lost a third of his bodyweight and has never gained it back. Had to quit six months before being able to get full retirement benefits. Now, he's on oxygen all the time, all his money goes to the two mortgages and a equity loan he used to get a van to get around and windows(he paid 1600 bucks for two windows-he never was bright). All he does is watch tv, buys lotto tickets and shuffles around not bathing for days. Just a sad pitiful wreck of a man I hated for a long time. God, I nearly literally killed that man I hated him so much! I moved out right after the arguement but... what an asshole.

Now it's just a matter of waiting until he croaks. After that my Mother will have to sell the house and I suppose everyone will go their separate ways, so I have to either get this real estate thing going with what I got or look for a apartment. I hope Dad can hold out a while longer, until I can score on this foreclosed real estate thing, but I am convinced that man will only find peace in death. And maybe I can too about him.

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Replies:

Opportunities and perspective ... -- Laura Gay, 14:06:00 06/27/01 Wed
J, you don't know how much I can relate... -- gidge, 08:38:41 06/28/01 Thu
- Me, too -- Faerie, 17:30:24 06/28/01 Thu
  - Not sure if this is the place to get mooshy..... -- gidge, 21:06:44 06/28/01 Thu
    - Soon, my mom will pass -- <font color="plumb">NKLS Cody</font>, 18:59:06 06/29/01 Fri
    - Thanks, gidge -- Faerie, 13:53:49 06/30/01 Sat
  - Re: Me, too -- Moleculo, 12:48:08 06/30/01 Sat
    - How true, how true..... (NT) -- gidge, 19:03:56 06/30/01 Sat