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Date Posted: 17:18:38 07/07/01 Sat
Author: SM78
Subject: Today Is So Southern California Bad

4:53 pm: A big brush fire is raging in the canyon in which I live. It crested the ridge about 1/2 mile from my house an hour ago. I was ready to go up on the roof with the hose to wet down the roof. Fortunately, the helicopter tankers knocked the fire down on the ridge and the wind shifted the fire east and it went into an adjacent canyon.

The weather this week has been stifling. High humdity and high temperatures made the air heavy to breathe and their were thunderstorms. Today is less muggy but there are still thunderstorms occurring and flashflood warnings to the north in Kern County.

This is just one of those days when nature shows rears its ugly head in Southern California. A lot of us were standing out on the street corner earlier watching all of the fire trucks and helicopters being poured into the fire area.
Invaraibly, someone -- usually an old person -- says, "it's earthquake weather." This spooks everyone because the weather is already palpable in its creepiness. So some old lady went and said, "It feels like earthquake weather." And then the kids, who are already scared because we might have to evacuate, get even more scared. I want to tell this old bitch to shut the fuck up and keep her fear to herself. But no, she starts going on and on until people begin to cross to the other corner so they can get away from her paranoid disease. If Grampa O'Dell had been on the corner, he would have no doubt pushed her into the path of an oncoming fire truck, such is his venality when he is disturbed.

Adding to the general dread, I was listening to my scanner earlier when I picked up the police in Moorpark, a suburb of L.A. They found a bullet-riddled car with a young woman's body in it. At first, they thought it might be the missing intern, but it was not. I turned on the tv and saw a helicopter shot of the car. The windshield wipers were going and it was not raining. Obviously the girl slumped over when she was shot and her body turned on the wipers.

There are now a good twelve water-dropping helicopters and six media helicopters over my house. Three borate bombers (planes) are also in the fight. My house is right under the flight path to the lake where they helicopters get the water and it is noisy with helicopters passing about 100 feet over my house about every ninety seconds. The smell of fire smoke is slight in the house because I re-windowed in April and it buttoned the house up tight. In other years, the smell of fire smoke could creep into the house through the leaky windows. Anyway, I am glad L.A. Counyty that they can deploy so many assets in such a short time

Glorious Southern California! Come on and join us! The women are gorgeous (and here I am thinking of Miss Poppy), the men are handsome (me), the palms trees are green, the pools are warm, and sex is easy (as long as you don't mind dating yourself!)

Gotta go, grampa is raving. He said for me to quit talking to that, "Bunch of goddamned jaded hipsters who have no reverence for Jesus or his Blessed Mother."

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