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| Subject: Well, | |
Author: Paddy (Scotland) | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 11:33:00 11/19/04 Fri In reply to: Admiral Nelson 's message, "Kiss me, Hardy" on 06:52:35 11/19/04 Fri Foreigners think that the British are strange - quite correctly. A few examples: Sexe a l'Anglaise is how the French describe being whipped for pleasure. An Austrian friend of mine told me that a friend of his laughed for hours when he explained that the British actually queue up at but-stops and post offices without the need for instructions to do so. The British, high and low form their own communities whenever they are abroad and refuse (or at least are perceived by the locals not) to fully fit in with the locals. There is certainly something different about the British. I know that they can appear so very haughty and unemotional but this must not be confused with asexuality. The British are in fact one of the most sexually-obsessed peoples on this earth, although it it mainly toungue in cheek fun-seeking stuff as opposed to the crude entirely off-turning porn that others mistake for erotica. Also could you kindly offer your own definition of "wit" for the benefit of the world? It appears that your definition is quite different from that of the English-Speaking world and we would be very interrested to hear it... [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: In fairness... | |
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Author: Ed Harris (Venezia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:26:06 11/19/04 Fri Think of all the dodgy things for which we use euphemisms involving the word 'French'. French kissing, French letters, French courage (occasionally rendered as Dutch courage), etc etc. I think that the business about queuing is right... which of us, hand on heart, can think of anything more irritating than people who don't queue in an orderly fashion? The thing about sex is obviously written by people whose jusgement is based on watching too much "Carry On, Doctor" and an obsession with Kenneth Williams saying "Oo, matron." As for Sexe a l'Anglaise, I understand that the S&M capital of the world is in fact Japan. The only one which is not susceptible of a ready explanation is the ghettoisation of Brits abroad. Here in Venice, the expat community is centred round the consulate and, mainly, the Anglican church. Even non-Christians turn up at 10-30 on Sundays in Campo San Vio, including myself, a Hindu lady and, the other week, a Muslim guy from Bradford with the full beard, salwaar kameez and skull-cap, who said that he missed chatting to British people and thought that he might find some at the Church. He did, as well as glasses of orange squash, hobnobs, a pot of darjeeling and a bloke with a monocle. On the other hand, all of us interact with the natives, and phenomena like the Anglicisation of the Costa Del Sol, the Argarve, Tuscany and Faliraki are somewhat unusual. And, indeed, most self-respecting Brits would rather go to Fallujah for a quick holiday than to Marbella, Ibiza, or Agia Napa, largely because of what our countrymen have done to these once fine places. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: I'm not sure Agia Napa was ever desperately fine.... but it was certainly nicer as a few rocks and a beach.... | |
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Author: Nick (UK) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:38:22 11/19/04 Fri On the other hand Cyprus in general is very British and I get a bit annoyed with self-appointed travel toffs who smirk at it for not being 'Greek' enough. It is an Anglo-Greek-Turk medley and there's nothing wrong with that. We should celebrate the fact one can buy a nice Pizza Express pizza there, proper chips to go with one's moussaka, and, rather like the Falkland Islands, have to fly to London to get almost anywhere else on earth in a fine 'all roads lead to Rome' piece of geography-defying Britishness. Unfortunately I fear the main reason most of us don't want to go to the places you mentioned is because a significant proportion of our population are brain dead, deserve the New Labour government their utter indifference to politics or the world helps bestow on us, and frankly are not worth the scarce resources they waste getting up every day. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Brazilians are terrible queuers | |
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Author: Ian (Australia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:15:58 11/19/04 Fri Which is odd, really, given the length of time they have to spend waiting in queues to get simple things done. When I first got to Brazil, I remember going into a bank and seeing a queue of some 20 people and saying to my wife "there must be a problem, let's come back later", to which she replied "sorry, but this is about as short a queue as you will ever get in a bank". They even paint lines on the floor for people to queue between, but these are routinely ignored. Completely. Like the lines on the roads which I (foolishly) continue to associate with the concept of not veering drunkenly from one lane to another without warning. But the oddest thing is that the same Brazilian who will wait patiently in a queue in a bank - exactly as if it were completely normal and acceptable to have to spend your entire lunchtime on a single transaction - will then blow his horn at you when you stop at a red light that he doesn't feel like stopping at. The problem is that they just don't get the concept of order. The idea that rules should (1) make sense and (2) be respected has simply never reached these shores. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: Old joke. | |
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Author: Ed Harris (Venezia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:30:02 11/19/04 Fri I think I was reading somewhere about a facetious response in a physics examination at some university. The question was about the shortest possible lapse of time in a temporally stable universe, as experienced by a stationary entity, or some such nonsense. One candidate gave two possible answers. The second smallest amount of time, he said, was represented by monarchy, because at the precise moment that the old King dies, the new one becomes king. There was however, he said, an even smaller amount of time than this. That is the time which elapses in Latin countries between the traffic lights going green and the driver behind you souding his horn. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> [> Subject: Commonwealth Driving Habits... | |
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Author: Dave (UK) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:55:44 11/19/04 Fri You mean it’s worse out there in then in Britain! It is certainly interesting observing the driving habits of Europeans, and others throughout the world. You will be glad to live in Venice, as you will be spared the driving habits of an average Italian. French motoring is hilarious. Two cars meeting head-on down a narrow street is interpreted as a test of manhood, with neither driver taking the practical measure of reversing to allow their respective journeys to complete. The situation is generally resolved by wearing out their horns. I personally have observed two facing cars honking at each other until the sun sets below the horizon, only to resume their activities at first light. However, when I was in Canada, I hired an SUV and drove from Vancouver to Calgary, and many other places in between, over three weeks. It was quite a surreal experience for me, as someone who is used to hammering along at a three figured speed. I have never come across such sedate, polite and relaxed driving in my life. Unlike Britain, a green light is not a signal to light up the rear tyres, and propel yourself towards the horizon, or indeed, the next set of traffic lights. Nobody seemed to be in a hurry, and amusingly, people referred to distances as a number of hours drive. When I got back to the airport in Glasgow, my car journey home seemed like Death Race 2000 by comparison. I regret to inform you that I have reverted to my evil ways, and the roads no longer seem intimidating. Australian driving also seems to be like the Canadian model. No-one dares exceed the speed limit by 1 KMPH, or the plods will get you. Give it time though, and the British drivers will be under the cosh as much as you Aussies – we’re going that way unfortunately. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> [> [> Subject: distance and time | |
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Author: Ian (Australia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:10:07 11/19/04 Fri >... amusingly, people referred to distances as a number of hours drive. It works the same way in Australia, except in the Northern Territory, where it is acceptable to define distances in terms of the number of cans of beer drunk during the drive. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Boats and Continental distances | |
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Author: Ed Harris (Venezia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:02:36 11/19/04 Fri Firstly, the stereotype of Italian driving is not confined to places where there are actually roads. If you spend any time in Venice, you will be initially surprised by the suicidal eccentricities of the ragazzi in their little speed-boats, until you realise that it is just the maritime extension of the universal Latin attitude towards vehicles - driving is not a means for getting from A to B, it is a competition in manliness. This applies even to those with little dogs with long ears who sit in the prow, the wind ruffling their ears as the boat bounces up the canals or across the Laguna. Secondly, Continental distances are very difficult for Brits to understand. We consider London to Edinburgh - about 400 miles - to be an epic journey akin to Scott's trip to the Antarctic, and allow ourselves a couple of days just in case there's traffic. By comparison, a friend of mine was staying with some mutual acquaintances in the American Midwest, and they decided to go out for dinner. The Wisconsinite host recommended a little Chinese place "just up the road", which turned out to be a 70 mile drive taking just over an hour. Can you imagine driving 70 miles for an ordinary dinner and then driving back again afterwards? We might go as far as 5 miles to the next town for a particularly good meal, but a 140 mile round-trip for a bucket of kung-pow chicken seems to us to be the height of lunacy. Still, I like my little island, and am glad that Glasgow is not 2500 miles from London; it's just that sometimes these things make me think... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: emptiness | |
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Author: Ian (Australia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:55:42 11/19/04 Fri All Australians have heard stories of people arriving in Sydney from small countries (usually Japan) and wanting to take a taxi to "that big rock in the middle of the island", a distance marginally greater than that from London to the Canary Islands. I remember when a friend and I drove the 4000-odd kilometres (or 2500-odd miles) from Sydney to Darwin. We had planned to take a whole week, because we weren't in any hurry, but we got bored with everything being so flat and sped it up a little to have an extra day once we got there. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: correction: Sydney-Uluru distance is more like London-Kiev | |
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Author: Ian (Australia) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:02:42 11/19/04 Fri [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Lost in translation | |
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Author: Brent (Canada) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:05:47 11/19/04 Fri Well, even betwixt Commonwealth family members it can be strange After all, I would not recommend to any UK cousins visiting Canada who want to borrow a cigarette to ask: "Can I bum a fag, mate?" LOL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: Don't say 'knock me up in the morning' either! | |
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Author: Jim (Canada) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:52:46 11/19/04 Fri [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |