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Subject: Brazilians are terrible queuers


Author:
Ian (Australia)
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Date Posted: 14:15:58 11/19/04 Fri
In reply to: Paddy (Scotland) 's message, "Well," on 11:33:00 11/19/04 Fri

Which is odd, really, given the length of time they have to spend waiting in queues to get simple things done. When I first got to Brazil, I remember going into a bank and seeing a queue of some 20 people and saying to my wife "there must be a problem, let's come back later", to which she replied "sorry, but this is about as short a queue as you will ever get in a bank".

They even paint lines on the floor for people to queue between, but these are routinely ignored. Completely. Like the lines on the roads which I (foolishly) continue to associate with the concept of not veering drunkenly from one lane to another without warning.

But the oddest thing is that the same Brazilian who will wait patiently in a queue in a bank - exactly as if it were completely normal and acceptable to have to spend your entire lunchtime on a single transaction - will then blow his horn at you when you stop at a red light that he doesn't feel like stopping at.

The problem is that they just don't get the concept of order. The idea that rules should (1) make sense and (2) be respected has simply never reached these shores.

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Replies:
[> [> [> Subject: Old joke.


Author:
Ed Harris (Venezia)
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Date Posted: 14:30:02 11/19/04 Fri

I think I was reading somewhere about a facetious response in a physics examination at some university. The question was about the shortest possible lapse of time in a temporally stable universe, as experienced by a stationary entity, or some such nonsense. One candidate gave two possible answers. The second smallest amount of time, he said, was represented by monarchy, because at the precise moment that the old King dies, the new one becomes king.

There was however, he said, an even smaller amount of time than this. That is the time which elapses in Latin countries between the traffic lights going green and the driver behind you souding his horn.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Commonwealth Driving Habits...


Author:
Dave (UK)
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Date Posted: 14:55:44 11/19/04 Fri

You mean it’s worse out there in then in Britain!

It is certainly interesting observing the driving habits of Europeans, and others throughout the world. You will be glad to live in Venice, as you will be spared the driving habits of an average Italian.

French motoring is hilarious. Two cars meeting head-on down a narrow street is interpreted as a test of manhood, with neither driver taking the practical measure of reversing to allow their respective journeys to complete. The situation is generally resolved by wearing out their horns. I personally have observed two facing cars honking at each other until the sun sets below the horizon, only to resume their activities at first light.

However, when I was in Canada, I hired an SUV and drove from Vancouver to Calgary, and many other places in between, over three weeks. It was quite a surreal experience for me, as someone who is used to hammering along at a three figured speed.

I have never come across such sedate, polite and relaxed driving in my life. Unlike Britain, a green light is not a signal to light up the rear tyres, and propel yourself towards the horizon, or indeed, the next set of traffic lights. Nobody seemed to be in a hurry, and amusingly, people referred to distances as a number of hours drive.

When I got back to the airport in Glasgow, my car journey home seemed like Death Race 2000 by comparison. I regret to inform you that I have reverted to my evil ways, and the roads no longer seem intimidating.

Australian driving also seems to be like the Canadian model. No-one dares exceed the speed limit by 1 KMPH, or the plods will get you. Give it time though, and the British drivers will be under the cosh as much as you Aussies – we’re going that way unfortunately.

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: distance and time


Author:
Ian (Australia)
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Date Posted: 15:10:07 11/19/04 Fri

>... amusingly, people referred to distances as a number of hours drive.

It works the same way in Australia, except in the Northern Territory, where it is acceptable to define distances in terms of the number of cans of beer drunk during the drive.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Boats and Continental distances


Author:
Ed Harris (Venezia)
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Date Posted: 16:02:36 11/19/04 Fri

Firstly, the stereotype of Italian driving is not confined to places where there are actually roads. If you spend any time in Venice, you will be initially surprised by the suicidal eccentricities of the ragazzi in their little speed-boats, until you realise that it is just the maritime extension of the universal Latin attitude towards vehicles - driving is not a means for getting from A to B, it is a competition in manliness. This applies even to those with little dogs with long ears who sit in the prow, the wind ruffling their ears as the boat bounces up the canals or across the Laguna.

Secondly, Continental distances are very difficult for Brits to understand. We consider London to Edinburgh - about 400 miles - to be an epic journey akin to Scott's trip to the Antarctic, and allow ourselves a couple of days just in case there's traffic. By comparison, a friend of mine was staying with some mutual acquaintances in the American Midwest, and they decided to go out for dinner. The Wisconsinite host recommended a little Chinese place "just up the road", which turned out to be a 70 mile drive taking just over an hour. Can you imagine driving 70 miles for an ordinary dinner and then driving back again afterwards? We might go as far as 5 miles to the next town for a particularly good meal, but a 140 mile round-trip for a bucket of kung-pow chicken seems to us to be the height of lunacy. Still, I like my little island, and am glad that Glasgow is not 2500 miles from London; it's just that sometimes these things make me think...

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: emptiness


Author:
Ian (Australia)
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Date Posted: 16:55:42 11/19/04 Fri

All Australians have heard stories of people arriving in Sydney from small countries (usually Japan) and wanting to take a taxi to "that big rock in the middle of the island", a distance marginally greater than that from London to the Canary Islands.

I remember when a friend and I drove the 4000-odd kilometres (or 2500-odd miles) from Sydney to Darwin. We had planned to take a whole week, because we weren't in any hurry, but we got bored with everything being so flat and sped it up a little to have an extra day once we got there.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: correction: Sydney-Uluru distance is more like London-Kiev


Author:
Ian (Australia)
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Date Posted: 17:02:42 11/19/04 Fri


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