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Subject: Married vs. Single


Author:
Mike Groves
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Date Posted: 01:22:19 03/13/03 Thu

As I was sitting here, reading all the different posts, it occured to me that there isn't much mention of spouses...There is talk of children, careers, memories etc, but nothing or very little about a significant other.

And since I am proffering the question, I'll start...

I got married when I was 24 or 25. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do...now I know it was just temporary insanity! It lasted long enough for 3 children to come along,2 boys, and a girl and we even stayed together "for the kids" for 2 years after the divorce. That was nearly 15 years ago, and in that time I have come close a couple times, but I remain happily single at this point. Maybe someday I'll remarry, but it doesn't stand as one of my major priorities. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice to have that soulmate, someone to share life with, but I learned a long time ago that you can't be happy with someone else unless you are happy alone.

Well there it is...Would love to hear from everyone else, especially the women, so I know who I can hit on at the reunion!
What can I say...once a trumpet player, ALWAYS a trumpet player!

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Debbie
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Date Posted: 01:09:21 03/20/03 Thu

Awwww, ma-a-a-a-n! A missed window of opportunity! Mike, why didn't you let us all know you were on the market last summer, before a bunch of us got (re)married?! Bummer!!!

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[> [> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Frank Hipchen
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Date Posted: 03:52:06 04/15/03 Tue

Can't say you havn't tried Mike! I never tried, but the truth is that marriage is the leading cause of divorce and I for one think people should be required to go to at least 4 yrs of under gradual school before they get married and then spend thier post gradual years working at an adoption agency.

Happiness to those who have found what they are looking for in the eyes of another, as for myself lads, I will be looking to no other for my fufillment.

"So ...Come, come, whoever you are.
Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come."

Jallaudin Rumi mystic poet

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[> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Robin
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Date Posted: 09:48:49 03/20/03 Thu

Yeah, Mike!

Shades of Grosse Point Blank...

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[> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Lora Dean King
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Date Posted: 00:31:04 03/21/03 Fri

Hey Mike....Saw your posts...I haven't heard from you in a while and I just wanted to say hello. Glad to see things are going well for you. Maybe we will run into each other at the reunion.

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[> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Debbie
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Date Posted: 16:33:57 03/22/03 Sat

Mike, I suspect that people are keeping mum about a spouse or partner till they see who all turns up at the reunion and what the pickings are like…

As for me, I didn’t marry till age 29 (slow starter, I guess) and ended up living and working in Bermuda with my English husband (we'd met in college), when he got a job there. I actually married and divorced him twice (slow learner too – doh!), but after the second time around I realized that WC Fields was indeed a wise man when he said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.”

After about 6-7 years of being single and making the occasional foray into the dating trenches (going to the beach was more fun though, so I did a lot more of that), a couple of years ago I started dating a good friend of mine, Charles, a Bermudian I’d known for years (over there, everyone knows everyone), and we ended up getting married this past July. Having been single for so much of my life, I wasn’t all that fussed about “getting serious” about anyone, but Charles (foolishly or not) wouldn’t give up trying to change my mind. I think I started taking a second look when my family met him and all were obviously quite taken with him right away. The womenfolk in particular (my mother, sister, sisters-in-law, etc.) quickly sussed him out and pulled me aside at various times to ask what in the world was I thinking, what was wrong with me that I wasn’t snapping up this great guy, etc. "Hmmmm, maybe they’re on to something," I thought. And they were. I keep saying that my mother loves Charles more than she loves me, ha ha. She keeps joking and telling everyone that if we ever get divorced, she gets to keep Charles. My mom, she’s such a kidder... I think.

Anyway, Charles thinks it’s great that my old mates from Band are planning a reunion after all these years and getting back in touch via The Band Hall to swap stories and memories. Educated at English boarding schools (poor guy!), he keeps saying, “Brits don’t do this sort of thing. It’s so cool that you all are doing this and so many people are getting involved!” He’s so impressed at our camaraderie, then and now, and is really looking forward to the reunion himself and has been reading the postings and looking at the photos so he’ll have an idea of “who’s who” when we get there.

Well, that’s my story. Anyone else out there willing to ‘fess up besides Mike and me?

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[> [> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Kim Kuentz Melchert
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Date Posted: 15:31:12 03/24/03 Mon

I, too, married "late" in life. I met my husband, Steve, in August 1995 on the internet. I was new to the internet thing back then and doing some exploring in chatrooms when I met my husband. He typed out a message, "Are there any tall, good-hearted women that would like to chat?", and I typed "Hellloooooo, from Texas". He was in Virginia. It was absolutely uncanny on how many things we both had in common....Both German-Lutherans, both children of retired educators, (both sets of parents met in Lutheran Colleges) both musicians, both love the outdoors and both of our mothers have "color" maiden names.....his - Black, mine - Brown. Ha! With commonalities and shared valued systems like that, it was no wonder we shared email addresses and got married 4 mos later. Now coming on 8 years of marriage and 4 kids later, we couldn't be happier! He definitely is my "needle in a haystack!!"

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[> [> Subject: Re: Married vs. Single


Author:
Randy D
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Date Posted: 03:43:50 04/14/03 Mon

"the womenfolk SUSSED you out" ....

I never have been sussed, nor have I witnessed any sussing, but if it involves womenfolk, tell me how and I'll teach my wife. heh heh heh

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