The addiction behind all addictions -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: The addiction behind all addictions

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 06:11:46 07/05/01 Thu
In reply to: Kyla 's message, "Re: This BE different!" on 04:49:14 07/05/01 Thu

Wheeew! This burn of having spoken your truth. It's so good, so rare, and...so life changing. Exposed to consciousness our unconscious maneuverings can no longer operate in the dark. I honor your speaking this here. Thank you.

And you've brought up something that is hugely important. The addiction behind all addictions, I suspect. The addiction to being special. Not just special in the way that we are all uniquely and intrinsically valuable, but special as in more-special-THAN. Ahh this is where the burn begins. For all of us.

It has been a lifelong pattern of mine to make myself special by being the most unloved person in the world. I don't do that anymore, I am amazed to realize. It got burned out by forum. Now, however, I am noticing another way I make myself special and it directly relates to becoming a mentor or teacher of this work. I see myself wanting to be in a role of knowing more, of feeling more deeply, of speaking more eloquently THAN others. I can see how, if I were to become a mentor, for instance, I could get all puffed up about being superior in these ways. These burns are valuable. I will sit in this one today.

Thank you Kyla for being so vulnerable here. I'm wondering if you'll notice yourself speaking in this way more and more now...until it becomes SO conscious that you can't do it anymore. Forum magic. Incredible stuff.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
And...	Cassie	06:35:43 07/05/01 Thu
Re: And... -- Deidra, 09:54:46 07/05/01 Thu More and more on more special -- Cassie, 23:39:54 07/05/01 Thu