| Subject: Re: Reverberations |
Author:
Kyla
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Date Posted: 05:55:59 07/08/01 Sun
In reply to:
Cassie
's message, "Reverberations" on 03:08:12 07/08/01 Sun
I also am feeling a little strange. For me, it's a shame that comes up whenever I express myself, put myself "on display," or receive acknowledgement for something I have done. (covers a lot of territory, and I have habitually supressed this feeling of shame.) It's the feeling I had whenever I would please my father with some clever childhood display, and immediately feel my mother's jealousy and then my father's sadness. And, this is even harder, Cassie, I want to say something to make you feel good about yourself here, and that is how I felt toward my mother in those places! And it was impossible! And so here is another place where "talking about other people" is a defensive move for me, because it seems to mean I am not at risk in either of these two places.
It seems no matter what we do, or how I squirm, we are both doomed to be overcome with shame!
I do have to say, Cassie, that both your wisdom and your beauty are very, very real to me! Maybe by standing in the shame, we can also claim and stand in the wisdom and beauty that we also are! I hope so.
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