To speak or not to speak -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: To speak or not to speak

Author:
Kyla

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Date Posted: 14:07:28 07/06/01 Fri

I used to think I knew when to speak about other people and when not to. I thought of myself as someone who could keep a secret, I thought I was clear about the ethics of this matter of confidentiality. Recently I have discovered that I am not clear at all, and that I actually have major confusion around what for some seems a simple matter. I would really like to hear from others, anyone, when do you think it is okay to talk about another person and when is it not okay? Am I the only one who is having some major confusion around this issue? I have discovered that sometimes I speak about another in order to make myself sound wise, or valuable, or somehow "in-the-know". Yuck! And I have also discovered that when challenged on this I go into a mental static field that thinly covers a big fear. If I can't speak about other people in expressing myself, then I will somehow be at risk in this big way, at risk of being misunderstood, ignored, or scapegoated. So....I am about to set myself the temporary task of not speaking about anyone else at all, so that when I find myself feeling the need to I will have a chance to investigate this further. I don't know if I can actually do this, and I just wrote to a friend and referred to a conversation I had with someone else (neither of them in this work, the conversation about quite innocent matters) but I did it before I thought! I left it alone because there was no possible harm from it, but it showed me that my plan is already awry! So I would love to hear if anyone has any thoughts or reactions about this.

confused, dangerous, but willing to learn********Kyla

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: To speak or not to speak	Deidra	17:29:33 07/06/01 Fri
RE: Deidra's reply -- Cassie, 03:05:56 07/07/01 Sat
Re: To speak or not to speak	Cassie	02:59:03 07/07/01 Sat