Author:
Anon Y. Mous(e) [aka Art]
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Date Posted: 20:04:54 07/21/01 Sat
In reply to:
Marc
's message, "Peeping" on 19:05:09 07/21/01 Sat
Welcome to Speaking Up.
"You're all being watched."
And now you're being watched and we know the exact routes
you use to & fro behind your monitor/Northwestern.
"I've been sitting here, looking at this screen, these
messages, these confessions, these conversations. I've
sometimes wanted to respond to what I've read, but
invariably I decide not to. Even though I only see words on
screen, I feel a room full of presences, others,
connections. What could I possibly add to this mix? I cannot
be more eloquent or more discriminating or more enthusiastic
than those who have written here. I don't have Kyla's heart,
Deidra's fierceness, Cassie's honesty, Art's poetry, Chris's
imagination, or any of the amazing powers other people in
here own. What can I offer?"
You are speaking up & offering your own uniqueness. We are
all happy when any of us gives up enough of their
so-called separateness to reveal what might formerly be
"hidden." And not just altruistically: what any one person
says and means at any one time may hold, for (any of) us in
this, a (lesser, or, more often in this) more profound &
useful meaning than might have been originally intended.
"Perhaps I fear becoming just another response in one of
these threads, another name, another word or utterance
that will only evanesce before being completely spoken, or
another image that will only flicker and fade to black when
your computer is shut down."
And when your "computer" does.
But we investigators all live with that in every moment.
Being continues.
"I bemoan that I'm here alone in Chicago, away from Waking
Down friends. But maybe I want it that way. Then I can go on
peeping without entering the room, without suffering the
longing for contact, without having to entertain hope,
without having to suffer the loss of possible connections.
Would I love my Waking Down friends as I do if I lived near
them and with them? Or perhaps I'll come into the room, and
before long the room will be empty, and I'll be the only
one left here. Hell, I should've just stayed invisible in
Chicago."
In our physical company, you'd both love and detest us much
more. And cherish this intensity.
The empty room is the last flicker of your version.
So-called invisiblity is, at last, impossible. Including the
temporary invisibility of samadhi states.
"So if you're wondering who's been here, hiding behind this
monitor, it's me. Maybe there are others, but I wouldn't
know because my eyes are too much fixed on all of you in
this room. Thank you for all your contributions and gifts,
and for daring to be co-creators of new realities."
Thank you for being here.
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