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Subject: Re: Clarifying consciousness vs Falling into the Core Wound?


Author:
Kyla
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Date Posted: 13:34:53 06/30/01 Sat
In reply to: Cassie 's message, "Clarifying consciousness vs Falling into the Core Wound?" on 02:28:43 06/30/01 Sat
 Funny you should ask. I was just talking to a friend last night about the Rot and the core wound. (She's in major Rot.) I was describing my experience of falling into the core wound..for the first time to someone not in this work. I loved remembering it: I found myself collapsed on the floor sobbing in grief; I looked at my knee and I was broken hearted that I had a knee, that my "I" and my knee were separate. Then my eyes fell on the mirror. I could not bear the fact that I actually had an image! I could not fucking bear it that I had been EXTRUDED by Consciousness! At the same time I WAS FEELING SUCH RELIEF TO ACTUALLY BE FINALLY FEELING THIS!

This occurred some time after my witness awakening. Several weeks later I had a "through the looking glass" awakening into my second birth. It was actually hilarious to Realize that I was Consciousness. I was laughing at all the thoughts I had had about consciousness before and how fundamentally wrong they were and how simple this was and how I could have never possibly understood it until that very moment!

So for me it was not either/or, it was both/and. I will be eternally grateful for Saniel's fathering.....he insisted to me more than once that my only hope was to clarify and realize Consciousness. And he was so right!

Also, after talking to Deidra about this I have realized that the reason that my actual second birth, delightful as it was, was such a kind of low key event is because I actually set it up that way. Not long before I found this work I had gotten so sick of the sort of "special effects" variety of spiritual seeking that I said in no uncertain terms: If the sacred exists and is real, it is as much present in the humdrum moments of life as it is in all this smoke and mirrors and glory halleluia stuff...and I demand it come to me, if at all, in the simplest most ordinary way....from the dust under my feet.....or I can't trust it . ......So. SHE did. And I give thanks!

Someone else please speak up? I mean, what a great question, Cassie! love******Kyla
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Re: Clarifying consciousness vs Falling into the Core Wound?Cassie21:45:54 06/30/01 Sat

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