| Subject: Processing a burn, a new me emerges |
Author:
Cassie
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Date Posted: 13:13:12 06/29/01 Fri
This burn is so familiar. Like yours, Deidra, it has a similiar cadance: "I am no good, I am no good, I am no good..."
Feeling deeply into it I see myself being smothered beneath a pillow by my brother. I see myself making this decision almost as if it were a psychic bargain with him, that I would take on this identity instead of him. I see that as an older brother (7 years) he was threatened when I came into the family, perhaps it felt to him then that HE was no good.
I see that I made this decision myself, however, it was entirely my own. I feel myself as Consciousness now in the midst of this burn, surrounding my young self making this momentous decision. I hold this decision up in the swirling light of Consciousness and own it.
Then an old phrase came to mind, one from A Course in Miracles which I studied for years. I spoke as the little one to my Self as Consciousness and I said, "Please undo this decision and all its consequences." Then I waited and the swirling energy did My work. The decision was undone.
Not quite finished yet, but feeling great relief already, I realize that I could have made a different decision in this situation. I could have decided to live, I could have decided that I was OK, I could have decided that even if it meant my body would die, that not only am I good, but I am holy and loveable and of great value. I could have seen that we live not in a duality where if I am valuable, my brother isn't and vice versa. No, we live in a multiciplicity. We can all be valuable every one of us.
As Consciousness I now decide for my young self these very things: I am valuable, you are valuable, we are all valuable. And now THIS is true as the other, earlier decision falls away. A transaction has been made in Consciousness. A new me is emerging.
This changing of past decisions can now be done in Consciousness. I no longer need to offer them up to an outside God as I did before. I am now both sides of the coin and there is only one coin.
I write this here because it has been so powerful for me today, stuck once again in this awful and familiar burn. I hope you may see a way something similar can happen in your life, if ever need be. This is not about me being better than anyone, or worse. This is about the multiplicity that WE are all together and this is about sharing what I know so that WE can all emerge from those old decisions that have held us in such a bind and a burn for so long. An offering of love for I love you all so much.
Cassie
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