Let's play with the Instant Slash Generator, shall we? -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:33:41
Author: Sil
Subject: Let's play with the Instant Slash Generator, shall we?

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://pokeslash.tvheaven.com/files/instantslash2.html">http://pokeslash.tvheaven.com/files/instantslash2.html</a>

*snicker*

The darkness was all around as Gollum walked through Mordor down towards his pup tent, random thoughts of oral sex crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Ebola had told him she often dreamed about Dumbledore involved in flogging with a manticore , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Jar-Jar .

One day he would discuss his feelings with Snape, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Jar-Jar masturbating himself with a zucchini.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the spork he was carrying with him. Would Jar-Jar's nostril feel like that to his left earlobe?

What would Jar-Jar think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating lembas off Jar-Jar's beautiful wrist?

Gollum rubbed the spork against his nostril whispering Jar-Jar's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his pup tent but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Jar-Jar's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Jar-Jar had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Mordor was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the lembas he was carrying and leisurely scratched his nostril.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Gollum calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his lembas and ran towards the sound of his Pookie-Sweetums-Bear's voice.

Jar-Jar stumbled through the darkness towards Gollum. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Pookie-Sweetums-Bear being attacked by a manticore. Was he about to be raped by Sauron dressed as Dumbledore? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his left earlobe.

Gollum, Gollum, my Pookie-Sweetums-Bear, screamed Jar-Jar. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Gollum leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the spork and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare wrist pointing in the air.

Jar-Jar! Gollum gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Snape said you were in your pup tent engaged in some oral sex with Ebola.

No, I was alone in my pup tent with nothing but my zucchini for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your wrist was, and how I would like to stroke my nostril against it, and have you kiss my left earlobe, and now I see your wrist for myself I realise that not even Dumbledore has a wrist to compare with yours.

Oh, Pookie-Sweetums-Bear, Snape said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Ebola.

What! That old manticore, I'd rather get involved in flogging with Sauron, a spork and lembas than dream of oral sex with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my left earlobe curl.

Oh, Gollum!

Oh, Jar-Jar, my Pookie-Sweetums-Bear!

Cue soft music, sounds of oral sex and flogging, soft focus and fade.........

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Replies:

I appologize to the whole board for this. -- And the whole universe, for that matter., Fri, Apr 23 2004, 1:57:59
- I ship Heywood/MKIceman! -- OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:42:12
  - Oh ho! So that's why they've been bickering like an old married couple. *waggles wolfy ears and winks saucily at Heywood and Matt* J/K. Don't eat me! (NT) -- silrayn silverwolf, Sat, Apr 24 2004, 10:59:49
- ::laughs!:: Better than MadLibs! -- MKIceman, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 8:49:32
  - Now will you kiss and make up? -- Jocelyn, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:56:58
- O_O Uhh...wow! ^_^;; (NT) -- Tilly, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 9:13:50
- Oh dear Lord... -- Linksh�nder, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 11:18:16
- We could make GAFF a fandom... -- Hellfire04, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:24:33
More generator fun with the Drabble-Matic -- Sil, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:02:44
- Ooooh! Ooooooh! Fun fun fun FUN!!!!! -- The Twonky, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:11:08
- Ooooh! Ooooooh! Fun fun fun FUN!!!!! -- The Twonky, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:11:53
- Worst LotR/HP crossover fic ever, courtesy of the Drabble-Matic -- Sil (who really, really needs to get to bed), Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:17:50
- One more bad crossover for the road -- Sil, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 2:31:47
- Re: More generator fun with the Drabble-Matic -- Karmyn, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 12:23:52
- Oh my word -- shadeshark, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 16:43:10
- That's what you get when you mention godawful pairings... -- MST Meg, Fri, Apr 23 2004, 20:51:08
- What the hell... -- Snape's Cleavage (aka T.E.O.W.), Sat, Apr 24 2004, 15:59:10