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Date Posted: 15:01:41 05/25/01 Fri
Author: tim
Subject: luke, zeina... I have tried to end Tiger moon better... see what you think, if the last stanza is crap let me know!! ;) (it was quite hard to write!

Tiger moon

Tiger moon,
the day
And night
Dream of always you.

Paper heart
Is Torn
in two
by your tiger dart.

Iron me
I bend
and groan
soft beneath your feet.

While

Orange sun,
she claw
And scratch
The tiger as he…

Run.

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Replies:

[> Woo. Crazy different. Dum dom dum drum beat. Do a little dance. Turns things a bit on their head, quite a different poem now, introducing a 'she'. Sounds cool, I think it's better but I'm not sure. It's hovering near silly. -- luke, 20:05:30 05/25/01 Fri

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[> haha. I agree. maybe a bit silly. I like the do a little dance analogy... -- tim, 20:11:40 05/25/01 Fri

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