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Date Posted: 21:53:25 05/25/01 Fri
Author: james
Subject: I think this is really good. The childish tone and setting and the whole tiptoes thing really works well. Its just the final stanza, infact no its the whole showering thing. It all seems so drastic and so much older. OK i get the loss of innocence in a way but it just seems such a jump from the tone before. The 'falling over' shock bit is where i think you should have left it. The blinking at the end really works as well and no i dont agree with george.
In reply to: luke 's message, "I liked animals" on 05:48:19 05/01/01 Tue


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[> When I handed this in I changed the last line to "I don't remember it so well" -- luke, 09:47:44 05/26/01 Sat

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