well you certainly managed to make the thing consist of harsh sounding words!!! (which is pretty effective). at first i didn't like it because i thought the sentences were too fragmented and they almost didn't really make sense but then that very same thing sort of put the feel into it for me... so there. i like the second half more because it seems to make more sense. i like the blood parts and the dying people. god i'm cynical. -- Some Let Me Make You

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Date Posted: 16:56:00 08/19/01 Sun
Author: zee
Subject: well you certainly managed to make the thing consist of harsh sounding words!!! (which is pretty effective). at first i didn't like it because i thought the sentences were too fragmented and they almost didn't really make sense but then that very same thing sort of put the feel into it for me... so there. i like the second half more because it seems to make more sense. i like the blood parts and the dying people. god i'm cynical.
In reply to: luke 's message, "trying for a general onomatopoeiac effect" on 19:04:47 06/01/01 Fri

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[> it could do with a title which kind of rounds it all up... i.e. 'plane crash' because before i knew what it was i was kind of confused. i'm not wure about the whole 'liquid arrow' bit too... i like 'air belches'. its kind of disturbingly tickly. like it it just tickles me in a mom funny way. like itch on inside of head. nevermind... i love 'plunging dead' as the last two words. i dont like 'keenly' it seems too much like ooh thats a sharp sound. -- zeina, 16:58:14 08/19/01 Sun

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