Re: Creating Jesianity: Help me brainstorm -- Unofficial Chris Cornell Forum

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Date Posted: 16:22:40 03/24/06 Fri
Author: carson1
Subject: Re: Creating Jesianity: Help me brainstorm
In reply to: Jes 's message, "Creating Jesianity: Help me brainstorm" on 15:51:13 03/24/06 Fri

The giant baby requires money, which is in fact honey suckle flowers and jolly ranchers, to appease it's ever growing need for insect repellant as the omni-potent baby is terrified of house flies and junebugs.

Only donations of insect repellant (and don't even think of buying that generic shit...only the name brand stuff will do), honey suckles or jolly ranchers will suffice. If not appeased...the baby will inflict the earth with a terrible shower of acid rain (which means off comes the diaper, and out comes the peepee).

Perfect!!!!!

Next commandment...though shall not poop in thy neighbors yard no matter how drunk you are....

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[> Re: Creating Jesianity: Help me brainstorm -- Jes, 16:43:44 03/24/06 Fri [1]

No no no. No babies in Jesianity. But you're right - I need a hard to believe concept.

OK. The Earth and the Sky were mad lovers. The Earth became jealous of the Sky holding both the Sun and the Moon. So from the BOWELS of the earth sprang mesquitos. The Sky laughed. "You have created an annoyance. I also have the stars. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha." So the Earth pushed from it's bowels again, but was only able to create the Grand Canyon. The Earth cried to the Sky "Do me in the axis!" and bam. Woman were born. The Earth had won - and had somthing more entertaining than the dependable Sun and Moon. But the woman got old. She also became predictable. And then JESSIE died (thus Jesianity). So the Earth cried again to the Sky "Do me in the axis." And another woman was born. But this time, the Air hadn't used a little of the ocean to ease the "doing." The Earth felt uncomfortable. She grew something near the axis. She stormed to get it off of there. It was an earth hemmeroid...it was man.

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