Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Teen Advice

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Date Posted: 19:54:10 11/09/06 Thu
Author: Jessica Doan (WSU)
Subject: Re: Learning To Accept My Body?
In reply to: Mariana Costa. 's message, "Learning To Accept My Body?" on 06:59:46 11/08/06 Wed

Reply to:

>I would say to this girl that it may be tempting, but
>to compare her body shape and structure with the
>�small body frame� of models and singers and to want
>to look like them is definitely not healthy or worthy.
>It is just waste of time. Those women are just part of
>a group that corresponds to a given pattern, to a
>stereotype that is considered the best and most
>beautiful. But beauty is something so blurred� of
>course the media wants to convince us that beauty is
>what they show on television and cinema, but� this is
>because they have to sell. Beauty depends on who�s
>looking at you. People have preferences and different
>tastes. Some like this type of body, some like that
>other one. People are always disagreeing about what is
>beautiful and what is not. There is no unanimity about
>it at all.
>
>I would tell this girl she should try and start seeing
>the beauty in her. It is so close and still she is
>unable to see it. Not only physically, but also in
>what concerns her personality. When someone loves
>himself, this person �radiates� a certain kind of
>light� I�m not trying to be romantic; this is just
>what I truly believe. This light enchants everyone
>around. This light makes people feel better� makes
>ONESELF feel good and satisfied.
>
>I�m saying it all out of my own experience. I used to
>be very unhappy with my bone structure too. I have
>large shoulders. When I was younger I believed a large
>shoulder was something to guys. Girls should have
>large hips (just like the girl that sent the
>question), big bottom and the upper part of the body
>should be very slender. You can imagine from where I
>got this idea: I�m Brazilian. It explains everything.
>Beauty is something very cultural, so instead of being
>blindly led by the crowd we should learn to separate
>things: what they tell you that beauty is may not be
>beautiful for everyone: it may not be beautiful FOR
>YOURSELF.
>
>So nowadays I�m very happy with my large shoulders,
>because there are people who like it and more, large
>shoulders are needed to support big breasts, and
>that�s it. There�s nothing wrong. Someone�s body
>should be a motive of preoccupation if it starts
>having problems to carry out its functions properly �
>what would probably mean illness or disease.
>Otherwise, never ever. Of course we can avoid this
>kind of problems by taking care of ourselves BEFORE
>the problem has a chance to show up, eating well and
>exercising, what will, of course, help make our bodies
>be in their best form. And the most important thing:
>it can help us achieve our freedom and happiness.
>
>Mariana Costa.

Dear Mariana,
Thank you for these inspiring words, it is so true that loving yourself for who you are not just what you look like does create a ligh of confidence in that person, which makes them radiate. I really thought that when you said, "This light enchants everyone around," is soooo true, because I have a couple friends, who are so happy with who they are, NOT in a conceited way at all, but just confident in themselves, they light up the room!
I also like the point you make about how the way beauty is portrayed in certain cultures is NOT always what is beautiful for you, becuase so many people see one person and think, "I should look like that, what is wrong with me," and that mindset is so sad because we are all so different, and should concentrate on our unique features that set us apart, do we really all want to look the same?
Thank you again, great job!
-Jessica Doan

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Replies:

Re: Learning To Accept My Body? -- Mariana Costa, 10:53:45 11/12/06 Sun