| Subject: Re: The damage never goes away |
Author:
JDS
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Date Posted: 18:55:40 03/18/11 Fri
In reply to:
jemtotreasure
's message, "The damage never goes away" on 22:20:03 10/05/10 Tue
Wow..I am so amazed to learn this. While I once attended AOY, my heart and soul sincerley was trying to find and adhere to the truth. I am not surprised. Gary was authoritarian and never warm and compassionate. I drug family weekly to Sabbath, for I wanted to serve Yahweh and wanted blessings for my childrne and family. I was in my second marriage and wanted my children to have good moral upbringing. My ex-husband was not as supportive as he appeared at AOY. But JOM thought he was great, he deceived many. My children who are older now, have told me I ruined their childhood. Clean foods, sabbath, FOT and Passover, the rigid dogmatic rules were hard on everyone, but especially me, because I wsa the one who tried so hard to be righteous. My ex never helped. I wanted to serve and I wanted to do the right thing. I thought I would feel closer to Yahweh. But attending AOY, made me feel further away. The judgement and criticism is not warranted and destroyed my faith for some time. No makeup, no sitting with others if you were UNCLEAN, no running if your a child on Sabbath, no TV, no family, no making coffee with coffee maker, its Sabbath, excommunicate from the world. INSANE. Meanwhile, I struggled as I watched so many of the families at AOY be financially strapped. Girls were not encouraged to go to college or respected for their educational accomplishments. Graduating was a sin, you can't wear a cap and gown. If you missed a Sabbath, you were frowned upon. How about FASTING, I was appaled when 3 year old children were being made to Fast. This was the breaking point for me. A child made to fast becaues JOM said so according to scriptures. Where were you? We are your family? There were a few kind sould caught up in trying to serve as well. I wanted to bad to be spiritually right. My ex, demanded we no longer attend. It was a game for him anyway, he wasn't sincere. He said, our kids will rebel. Meanwhile, one year after leaving, my ex drugs my daughter, intention molest. My son saves her. I fight incessntly with him, decide divorce because he clearly was not a moral man nor a Yahweh loving man. I learn one year later, he molested my daughter for 5 years as a little girl. Well, you can imagine what this did to me. My faith was broken, my daughter molested, I have little family support, and I was left to ask Yahweh WHY??? My heart was pure. Don't tell me otherwise. Well, I don't what the answer is, but I know one thing, WOLVES DO HIDE IN SHEEPS CLOTHING. People are deceptive and if it doesn't feel right, than it ISNT. As a woman and a mother, I am trying to reeducate my daughter, TO TRUST her instincts, and trust her spirituality and TRUST herself. Others don't define you, and our creator certainly is not HATEFUL, revengeful and judgemental. I have learned we are all ONE, we all come from the same source, and our goal is love and compassion. It is not follow TORAH laws and losing your connection with your creator. We are suppose to grow closer. We are to be kind and loving and compassionate. If someone judges you becaues you chose to wear makeup, or stay home on Sabbath to rest, this is not compassion this is CRITICISM. This is what AOY was to us! Next to marrying my ex, AOY was a big big mistake for my family. I only hope those who are there are able to shake the brainwashing and know and trust their own hearts and understanding of faith and GOD-YAHWEH. AOY was damaging to my family and especially my faith. I am so relieved to be out of the brainwashing and cult like thinking.
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