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Subject: Re: Spanking and parents'age


Author:
Rebecca
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Date Posted: 11:43:27 06/16/24 Sun
In reply to: Erin 's message, "Spanking and parents'age" on 08:32:35 06/16/24 Sun

I am 70 and was brought up in the late fifties, early sixties. It was a time when almost all parents spanked (although there was a budding anti-spanking ideology)and all the schools, public and private, paddled--and this was in liberal Western Washington. We were a large Catholic family and our stay at home mother very much believed in spanking!

When I went away to college, under the influence of liberal professors and friends, I was converted to "modern" parenting-- no spank. However, once married and had children, to make a long story short, I eventually came to believe mom was lot smarter than I had given her credit for. However I was not alone. This was in the eighties, when spanking was making a comeback (James Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" and etc.).

I remain pro-spanking in a radically anti-spanking age. But it has not disappeared, and I doubt it ever will --the pendulum will swing back.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Spanking and parents'age (for Rebecca)


Author:
Alfred22
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Date Posted: 14:43:07 06/16/24 Sun

How long do you think a spanking should be on one's mind? I have no issue with their being memorable. What worries me about the comeback of spanking is the return of the really scary, hard spankings.

On another forum there was a brilliant writer and Gold Star Wife/widow publishing as Tessa on Voy. She has three kids, two of driving age. She totally acknowledged and even worked in the spanking industry. She even worked for Shadow Lane.

She had no issue that spanking has erotic dimensions and never let that fact stop her. That is mildly interesting in itself. What interests me more is the following story that she shared. Her daughter was careless about keeping track of time and one night she realized that she had not called and was going to be quite late. To avoid the short strap that her mother was sure to spank her with, she drove fast and was stopped for speeding. The officer was good friends with the family and knew her dad before he was killed in Afghanistan. So, he escorted the daughter home and explained it all to Tessa and the younger brother. Oldest sib was away. Sister was promised the spanking she feared and the officer only reported a warning.

The moral of the story that I think is most important: Spankings should not be so fearsome that kids take crazy risks to avoid them! Perhaps they could be felt a day later but just a memory two days out? This is just a ballpark estimate of an upper limit. Much less for most kids is likely to be all they need. I hope any big return of spankings is only of moderate ones, recovered from after a day or sooner afterwards.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Spanking and parents'age (for Rebecca)


Author:
Rebecca
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Date Posted: 10:28:36 06/17/24 Mon

This is not really a spanking question, but about priorities. These days, with cellphones, it is always possible to call or text if a child is going to be late. Unless this is abused, curfew violations should rarely be an issue. Speeding to get home is much more serious. The last spanking I gave mine was over unsafe driving issues (it is also the reason for my last spanking as a teenager).

There is never an excuse for abusive beatings, but a spanking at any age needs to be a memorable ouch. What is memorable for a seven year old is not the same as what is memorable for a seventeen year old. Did you get the impression the strapping Tessa gave her daughter was too much?

Physical discipline is an effective tool used by parents since forever. That, like anything, in the wrong hands it can be abused, is no reason to dispense with it.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Spanking and parents'age (for Rebecca)


Author:
Alfred22
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Date Posted: 07:28:05 06/18/24 Tue

Tessa was a great writer and no doubt a serious journalist. Her unabashed advocacy of spanking for her three put to rest one anti-spanking argument, namely that the erotic effects of a spanking somehow undermine its behavior-influencing benefits. Her remarks to her younger (13 at the time) guy who had explicitly asked her why he got hard right before a spanking were: It is perfectly natural and don't worry it will be long gone before I finish with you. Tessa thought that she had no trouble at all distinguishing earned by naughty behavior spankings from spankings chosen for their erotic aspects.

Parents who abstain from spanking lest they be accused of doing it for their own selfish personal pleasure are, according to Tessa, worrying unnecessarily. All it takes is a little commonsense to tell the difference and so she never let her time in the "industry" inhibit her using spanking for discipline.

Tessa recounts her change from using a hairbrush to using the short "handstrap" that she came across and purchased at a church yardsale. It had been designed for spanking and was inexpensive so she bought it. Unlike her hairbrush applications, it did not bruise.

As for the speeding spanking, I didn't mean to suggest it was excessive. I am sure it wasn't since it was with the handstrap. Tessa's daughter was just very scared of any hard spanking and she let her fear influence her driving choices.

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