One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls -- A nice red bottom

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Subject: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls

Author:
Bob

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Date Posted: 19:57:56 03/30/25 Sun

A while back, I was chatting online with somebody who told me he (and his wife) was the parent of three teenage girls. He had an interesting way of disciplining them. When they did something wrong, he did not punish but he gave them one or more demerits. Over time, the demerits would accumulate. Every other month, the girl with the most demerits would be grounded for a weekend and given a spanking. After serving her punishment the girl's demerit count was set to 0. As a result, it was virtually impossible to go 2 years without a spanking.

Assuming this story is true, and it may not be, is this good parenting? Also, if you were one of the girls and it looked like you were the one to get punished, how would you feel?

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[> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls
Author: Dean [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 23:03:58 03/30/25 Sun I don't think it's good parenting to turn it into a competition and make it so complicated. Either you earn a punishment or not. A bad girl gets a spanking. A good girl doesn't need one. If everyone is bad, all bottoms are red. If all are good, everyone is happier. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls

Author:
Bob to Dean
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Date Posted: 02:02:34 03/31/25 Mon

I think you are right. The problem is that what deserves a spanking is subjective. As a result, the parent might find a reason to spank each girl every month. I do not consider that good.

Also if you have an older teen who misses curfew by a little frequently, I feel the teen should be punished at some point.

I think there was a young lady by the name of Audrey. She was around 18 and she was on a cross system. When she did something wrong she got one or more crosses. Every week she lost 3 crosses but her count never went below 0. If her cross count got to 25 (I think) she got a spanking. As the story goes, over time her cross count built up and she got a spanking. Do you think that is good? I am not sure how I feel about it.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls

Author:
Dean
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Date Posted: 17:55:53 03/31/25 Mon

That still sounds too complicated, and if she is misbehaving, why not just handle it right away rather than waiting for the outcome of the cross system game? Doesn't that give her 24 crosses to play with before she has to mind her behavior?

My parents made their decisions in the moment at hand. If a spanking was needed in their opinion, they didn't have to wait for a game to be over. The way it worked in our house, an earned spanking was right away, or that same evening. There was nothing to think about other than don't do that again. Crime and punishment were always clearly connected, and the association with a specific issue remembered. I think it was effective enough, and life didn't revolve around how many crosses we had.

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[> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls
Author: Anna [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 03:28:48 03/31/25 Mon In MY opinion, it isnt. I mean parenting is not making competition between kids. If none of the kids made something bad enough , then none should be disciplined. If several did, then they all of them should get it. It seems more fair to me. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls
Author: Marcey [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 06:00:22 03/31/25 Mon I don't think this makes much sense. I think the cause and effect of the punishment would be lost if you wait that long to give correction. I mean, it is like you are getting spanked for something that you can't really remember. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls
Author: Ross [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 16:48:06 03/31/25 Mon Any time you make a set of rules like that, they can be gamed, and you can't really fault the "players" for "playing by the rules." Do you REALLY want to create a situation where one girl can be as bad as she likes for 2 months straight with no additional consequences, because she's already in for a spanking? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: One punishment every other month for 3 teenage girls
Author: CaringThroughAction [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 10:59:51 04/06/25 Sun I'd keep it simple. Every child/teen is different. Have a consistent set of "tools" in the box but handle each according to their own level of perceived need. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]