"I can't just decide to quit using, snap my fingers, and have this all be over, B..." He murmured softly, his eyes lingering shut, a quiet sigh escaping him. After so many years, he didn't think he remembered who he was without drugs, and he was scared of everything that it would take for him to get clean - detox, and rehab - and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to do it, and he would just end up a bigger loser than now. In all honesty, he was more scared of trying to quit and failing, than he was of what could happen to him if he kept all this up. But if he lost the band, then what would he do with himself? And how long with Bianca be able to put up with him then? He just wasn't sure if there was any way out of this. -- .: Bianca's Apartment :.

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Date Posted: 02:48:13 02/05/06 Sun
Author: Gavin
Subject: "I can't just decide to quit using, snap my fingers, and have this all be over, B..." He murmured softly, his eyes lingering shut, a quiet sigh escaping him. After so many years, he didn't think he remembered who he was without drugs, and he was scared of everything that it would take for him to get clean - detox, and rehab - and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to do it, and he would just end up a bigger loser than now. In all honesty, he was more scared of trying to quit and failing, than he was of what could happen to him if he kept all this up. But if he lost the band, then what would he do with himself? And how long with Bianca be able to put up with him then? He just wasn't sure if there was any way out of this.
In reply to: Gavin 's message, "Fell to pieces, and I'm still falling" on 00:16:19 02/05/06 Sun

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"Funny..cuz it seemed like you kinda wanted me to just snap my fingers and be all better." She stated softly, not accusing him, just stating what she felt. "You had faith in me getting better, Gavin, I'm no stronger of a person then you are." She brushed her hand over his hair, she truly believed he could overcome this if he would just put his mind to it and work at it. She was starting to understand that she'd had a problem, which was the part she had been in most denial about. It was a hard thing to realize, that you had a problem that seemed to be out of your control but as soon as you acknowledged the problem you could really start to fix it. (NT) -- Bianca, 03:07:47 02/05/06 Sun