| Subject: no.. yes? no ...is this a trick question? |
Author:
Deangelo
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Date Posted: 10:51pm 03/28/05 Mon
In reply to:
GiGi
's message, "was your love a show as well?" on 5:31pm 03/28/05 Mon
Turning slightly to meet her fingers on his cheek with all the subtle yearn that pulls the sunflower to stretch for the sun, he did not meet her eyes until the meaningful lift of his chin gently forced him to do so and he lifted a disgraced gaze to look her in the face. What would she see in those eyes? A fear of judgement. A creature who, lost in a world that loved him and did not want him at the same time, danced all the more madly to dazzle his surroundings and draw attention away from the weakenesses he sought so desperately to shroud in shadows beyond outside eyes. A boy forced too soon from childhood and a man too violently passionate to be an adult. A frantic fiddler too tangled in his own music to stop, least he somehow sever the lifeline that strung him from century to century. A lonely loner and a ill-taught and awkward companion. Yet... somehow... the beauty before him accepted him...
Or did she see a green-eyed mosnter?
And having gazeed into his eyes, she did not want to look at him anymore...
If it was possible to shrink any smaller, he would have done so, curled around her so and clutching her hand. She had every right to despise him... And yet she blamed herself. Dear sweet girl! Swallowing back a choke, eyes strained with the effort to keep tears at bay, he shook his head, stammering through several starts to begin his reply. "No, GiGi, I don't regret it! Not at all! And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry if you do! You've done nothing wrong, not in any sense, GiGi! I... I used you without realizing I did so and, please, hate me for it! You've given me everything and I'm too fucking stupid to realize it until now that I've hurt you for so many years!" Please, slap him as he deserved! Or else let him, for the first time in his life, break down and cry in beloved arms.
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