was your love a show as well? -- Apartment Building

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Subject: was your love a show as well?

Author:
GiGi

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Date Posted: 5:31pm 03/28/05 Mon
In reply to: Deangelo 's message, "my actions... are all showmanship... I dance a one-man masquerade" on 9:48pm 03/27/05 Sun

bah bad post
snuggling into him without giving it much thought GiGi sighs softly. fingers running lightly along the hand she held and up his arm only to trail back down again. her pools sliding back up to watch him as he tightened his grip, studying his down cast features. the hurt becoming mixed with confusion and longing. wanting what he said just to make everything better. wanting to pretend that she believed the soft pleading words. If only he had not said them so swiftly and without thought so many times before.

glance falling back to the sheets beside them GiGi remains silent for what seemed forever. thoughts swirling with her confusion and yet still making sense to her. the frayed, battered string of trust and belief still holding true even as her doubts dashed against it like the wave against a fisherman's line. the gleam in her pools remaining, so close to the edge of control and yet so collected for the moment. still heart sure to have been racing had it functioned as it should. the heart though truly not the source of love as she was now learning.

turning slowly to touch his cheek GiGi remains cuddled into the curve of his body. the hand in his seeming to take strength in his grip. fingers sliding slowly from his cheek to rest at his chin GiGi presses up so he would look at her if he did not pull away. needing to see his eyes, needing the reassurance that he was not lying to her. but where the eyes still the windows to the soul with her kind? would she see what she so needed within the soft surfaces? Her thumb gently brushing along his jawline as she does so.

I know you do not intentionally hurt me... but even so it hurts. glance once more lowering from his to anywhere but as she struggles with her words and feelings. I thought I was giving you my all is there something I am not doing? not saying? is there something you need that I can not provide.. breath coming painfully as she gets to what she wanted to say. Do you regret taking me? stomach feeling sour, finally saying the words she had wanted to say and dreaded. his actions as of late making her think she was in the way.. a bother or a pet that he did not want any longer but could not rid of without consequence. It had been her job to keep him happy and yet he was not so in truth it was not he that was the screw up but she right?

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
no.. yes? no ...is this a trick question?	Deangelo	10:51pm 03/28/05 Mon
no it is a yes or no -- GiGi, 12:01am 03/29/05 Tue no. it was honest. some of my show is to impress you -- Deangelo, 6:47pm 04/01/05 Fri you need not impress me though your attempt seem to be failing miserably -- GiGi, 5:39pm 04/04/05 Mon I am a failure. Always have been, always will be. Ask anybody in all my history -- Deangelo, 10:25pm 04/09/05 Sat practice makes prefect -- GiGi, 8:37pm 04/17/05 Sun then why am I not perfect? -- Deangelo, 9:26pm 04/22/05 Fri going down the wrong road? -- GiGi, 10:39pm 04/22/05 Fri where did I go wrong? -- Deangelo, 7:48pm 04/25/05 Mon