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Date Posted: Thu, Feb 09 2006, 11:11am PST
Author: Marc
Subject: >
In reply to: Marcus Banks 's message, "Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be" on Sun, Feb 05 2006, 1:54am PST

He frowned and dipped his head a touch, leaning forward on his elbows, resting on his knees, as he brushed a hand wearily over his head. he hated that he had caused her so much pain... it was his biggest regret. "I know baby... Ash..." He corrected himself "I'm not asking for you to forgive me.... I don;t expect you to...I was a bastard to you and I hate myself for it. I just couldnt see that... i had everything i wanted... still want... I just wasn;t prepared for it all... so much responsibility all at once... I felt like I was in way over my head- like I was destined to fail... and the more I worked the more guilty I felt for leaving you alone- and the more guilty I felt the less I could bring mysefl to look you in eye... and so the more I stayed away and the worse it got." He looked up at her finally, looking her in the eye. "You gotta know Ash- I never even looked at her as anything but a friend and collegue until that night when we had that arguement..."He was silent for a long time, having finally gotten it all off his chest, though her kept his dark amber eyes locked on her, his pain and regret obvious on his dark features. "I'll never be able to really tell you how much I regret that night and how much I despise myself for ruining this... and I miss you both so much... its like someones come in and switched all the lights off in my life..."

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