Author:
Jewel
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Date Posted: 15:16:09 08/11/02 Sun
~She looks up at Maxximus. She is aware of his glaring, his interested stare. She knew what he was feeling, and she had given it much thought. She thought she had felt it at first too, but now she realizes the truth that she had been hiding.~
Maxximus, I know what you've been thinking about ever since you moved in, and I honestly thought I was thinking the same thing. But I know now that I was fooling myself. Come now, Maxximus, do you really think that we could live together as a pair for the rest of our lives without feeling the guilt about Diamond? It is so twisted - you and I. I could never live knowing what betrayal and sadness we would cause Diamond if she ever did come home.
~It was so hard to be saying all of this.~
You're already considered family in this household, Maxximus, by my hatchlings. You are their uncle, and it would be so twisted and strange if you were suddenly their father too. And think of how uncomfortable things would be. My missing sister's mate as my own? I could never get to sleep at night.
~She looks down at this meat that he worked so hard to retrieve for she and her hatchlings. She then looks back up at him, remembering why she even started this in the first place.~
And, at first I didn't know why I was fooling myself into thinking that I like you that way. But now I understand. I have lived out my entire adulthood without a mate, because after all, I never really looked. I never felt like I needed a mate. I felt good on my own. I was always successful. I have raised four hatchlings to adulthood and I have two more that I still need to raise. Maybe I thought, 'Hey, now I don't have to do it alone.' or maybe I was thinking about being loved like Diamond got loved when she was with you. But it doesn't really matter what I was really thinking. I know the truth now. I am good on my own, and if I meet that certain someone who flashes off some sort of light in my heart, I will know that I will become someone's mate. But right now, I'm not ready, and I don't know if I'll ever be.
~A tear streams down her cheek, but she holds herself together. She has always been the stronger one in her family - always. Her strength is what got her through six hatchlings without searching frantically for a mate to assist her. She never felt the need for a mate, and especially now with her perfectly content family the way it is. And the guilt they would have to live with would be unbearable for her. Diamond was not only her sister, but her best friend, she could never betray her this way. Of course she knew that Maxximus and Diamond were not one any longer, but the guilt would still be there. She realizes now that she was wrong to have feelings for Maxximus, and she was not surprised at how quickly they went away.~
But Maxximus, I do not want to lose you as a friend. You are still my good old brother-in-law, and I want it to stay that way. Remember how it used to be? We can still be friends without forcing feelings for each other on ourselves. I'm sorry it has to be this way, Maxximus, but I couldn't settle for anything more.
((OOC: I'm really sorry, but it WAS uncomfortable for Maxx to be staring at me and stuff. I didn't want to become his mate, I just wanted to do a good deed and give him shelter since he had nowhere to go and we were family. I'm so sorry.))
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