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Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: AV [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: Friday, January 17, 2025, 01:11: pm In reply to: Shelly 's message, "Surrogate Parent" on Friday, January 17, 2025, 09:34: am Shelly, This is awesome news. Really is. She will love to hear that. Excitement is coming to your household. Little junior will not know when his enema day will be, lol. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Friday, January 17, 2025, 10:22: pm Sitter is staying with us this weekend. We have kicked hubby out of the man cave in the basement and that will be her bedroom. We have to go get paint and wall decorations tomorrow and a bed. She is bringing her dresser drawers from her bedroom. We have to paint this weekend. Right now it is butterscotch and brown and that just won't do! It is a big room so she gets to keep the 52" flat screen and the couch. There is a toilet and sink but no shower so she will have privacy. She will do her enemas and toileting for me down there. She is right now curled up on the couch watching youtube videos on her new flat screen. She had no tv in her bedroom at home so she is in heaven. We don't have cable tv but there is a PS 4 down there and so she has all kinds of games. And it has access to our internet router and Play Station Plus subscription to access Youtube. We just did a suppository as soon as she got here this afternoon because we had so much to talk about and do. She took junior in for his bath and enema and shut the door and stayed in there with him and I was never called to help. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2025, 02:20: am Shelly, What was her reaction when you told her she would be staying with your family? You two are going to have fun painting and decorating the room. Wow! Sitter probably said to little junior again, “now listen here buttercup”. lol. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2025, 07:30: am AV, She told me last week that our family had been chosen to board her. She was working her mom really hard to let her stay with us. It just wasn't official until mom called me and confirmed it. I feel like I have gained that daughter that I always wanted. She is a freshman so I hope I will have her for three years. She probably has some inkling I'm going to toilet train her but she likely doesn't realize I'm going to get a poop out of her every night. However, she of course will not be here on Saturday to poop and I will give her a reprieve on Mondays after emptying her colon on Sun. But for the other five days she will poop. Just as she is getting ready for bed each night if she hasn't pooped she gets a bulb syringe enema. It's up to her if she wants to sit and try to have a bowel movement through the course of the evening or not. Fri. of course she will stop by and a enema right away. No sitting chances. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Kitten Paw [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2025, 08:10: am Well brace yourself. She is fifteen. Rebellion age. You tell her she has to give you a bowel movement every night but you don't make your boys give you a bowel movement every night? How do you think she is going to like that? After living with you for about two weeks she is going to start treating you like she does her mom. She is going to start resisting and back talking when you tell her it is time for her enemas. Bet me!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2025, 08:20: am Shelly, I love this story. I love everything about it. So amazing how it all came and is coming together. I am so proud to be a virtual part. I do hope it works out. But keep kitten paw’s thoughts in mind though. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Andrea [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Saturday, January 18, 2025, 12:54: pm Kitten Paw is probably right Shelly. If you are not getting a bowel movement from your boys each evening your babysitter is going to resist you. After living with you for a while she is going to react to direction from you just like she does her mother. You will have replaced her mother in terms of daily guidance and discipline. No matter how sweet she is now there will be discipline issues with a 15 year old. She has a car so you are soon going to find out she has a sense of independence and free will to come 'home' when she darn well feels she needs to. You can not demand she come 'home' straight from school every day so how are you going to handle that? My 10 year old took time to settle in to a daily bowel movement. She fought and resisted until she realized it was going to happen every evening and it was pointless to complain about it. Babysitter is going to resist your daily requirement sooner than you might expect. But stay the course this is so important that she give you a bowel movement every day she is there except for Monday of course because you emptied her the night before. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Sunday, January 19, 2025, 11:58: am You all are probably right. We have a problem. So we were painting her bedroom and she says to me, "so I told mom now that I'm going to live with you that she can't make me have suppositories and enemas and make you potty train me. I'm almost 16 and I can so no I don't want to be potty trained any more. I know how to go to the bathroom". I was not expecting that. I said, "I'm not training you. I'm training your body. You will be able to so no you don't want to give me a bowel movement or your mom a bowel movement when you are 18." "You will give me a bowel movement every night you are here. Starting tonight. You may choose to do sits it you want, I won't make you. But if you haven't pooped by bedtime I will get a poop from you, do you understand me?" No response. "Do you understand me?" Still no response. The bulb syringe was delivered yesterday and we had a bit of an argument at bed time and then I got a bowel movement from her and she went to bed not happy with me. And she gets a clean out tonight and she won't be happy about that. We are not getting off to a good start. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Sunday, January 19, 2025, 12:36: pm She just got out of bed a few minutes ago. Didn't grab anything to eat. Walked out the door saying she had more things to get from home. After I know she is fully moved in we are going to have a rule she does not just walk out my door without telling me why and where and when she will be back. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Sunday, January 19, 2025, 02:02: pm Shelly, I am so sorry this is already happening. Sitter looked at all of this as punishment from her mom it seems and potty training. Hopefully with your relationship with her, a peaceful talk can take place without getting any more uglier. You are giving her the option to sit and have a movement. She claims she knows how to go to the bathroom. If so, she needs to show you she can, if not, an enema. I hate for the boys to see this get ugly. Hopefully a respectful conversation can take place. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, January 20, 2025, 10:09: am AV, I think Kitten Paw was right. She sees no serious threat that she will have to submit for 'Enemas 'Til Clear' from the Home Health Care nurses because she figures they are not going to drive 25 miles out in the country to give her enemas. So now her enema battle has been reduced to just a fight with me. We had planned on using the three days she had off from school to getting the man cave room transformed in to an awesome teenage bedroom. We got about half of it painted Sat. We were going to finish up yesterday on the painting. And today go look for wall art or posters or wall hangings and any other furnishings to top the decoration off for her. She left in a huff Sun. morning, turned her phone off so I couldn't communicate with her and was a no-show all day. Finally as it was getting close to dark I called her mother and she said yes daughter was helping move and since she didn't have school on Mon. she would just stay over night at the new house. And she was going to help mom clean at the old house today. I'm trying not to feel disrespected. She owes a good soapsuds enema clean out when she shows up today. And if she turns her phone off because she doesn't use it I might just confiscate it for a few days. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, January 20, 2025, 11:13: am Shelly, Kitten Paw has been right on everything. Nailed everything to a tee. I hope a peaceful conversation and respectful talk comes forth but if not, Shelly, you do what you have to do. Sounds like sitter needs a good soapsuds cleaning. How are the boys doing? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Surrogate Parent Author: Andrea [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, January 20, 2025, 12:38: pm Shelly, As AV would say you are going to have to do a 'shock and awe' for sitter to get her attention or you will continue to get disrespected. I did this with my daughter when she continued to get more physical and abusive with her language about the third enema she needed. I went to Walgreens and got a bottle of Castor Oil laxative and mixed a double adult dose in a glass of orange juice and made her drink it. It is the most unpleasant, crampy way to get your colon emptied. Tell her if she doesn't drink the whole glass you take away phone and keys to car for the whole week. Do this only if she comes home at least for hours before bed time. Then I would get her up early in the morning and give her a good rinse enema because castor oil is of course an oil and she may leak and not know she is about to. Don't want that to happen to her at school. My daughter was 100% compliant after that experience. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]