Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband

Author:
Pat

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Date Posted: 06/ 4/09 5:36pm
In reply to: Julia 's message, "Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband" on 06/ 4/09 10:27am

Hi, Julia,

What a loser your ex fiance turned out to be! Wow! Anybody who would make THAT kind of demand on you has some serious problems!

It seems to me the answer regarding him is simple. Don't have anything to do with him.

It sounds like the major concern is your ex-husband. I can't tell you how he will react. But I can tell you that some people who have come here have had a similar situation, and they decided to protect their baby, and the result is that the ex-husband (or husband) decided to accept the baby as their own. I know this is not a universal reaction, but I think there is a good chance he may choose to do the same. Obviously, he is aware you were with someone else, and that anything is possible.

I would recommend going to a crisis pregnancy organization for counseling on how to tell him. I am sure they have dealt with this situation many times before. Pray. Continue to be loving toward your ex-husband.

You can find an organization by going here:

pregnancycenters.org/

or by going here:

heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

Good luck to you! Please protect your baby. Don't let a man like that rob you of your joy, and don't let him stand in the way of a beautiful reunion. Sure, it will take work. But it is well worth doing. I hope this helps.

Hugs,
Pat

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband

Author:
Antonella
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Date Posted: 06/ 5/09 8:08am

Hi Julia, even if your situation isn't easy, the choice to protect this new life is the best one. You're right, don't listen to your ex boyfriend, he was miserable and awful, his words can show you one more time that this guy is a bad person and your baby can't "pay" with the own life because this person doesn't want him...Maybe this guy is too much worried now and he had that bad reaction, maybe in future he could back in your life looking for this "unplanned "child, but NOW you have to be strong for your baby and give him/her a real family, focusing on what the best is. Your husband has already showed you his love, now you 2 are back together, he was a good responsible father for your children, he knows how to be a father, he knows the word "respect and responsability", I think you can trust him and then you can find the right words to tell him everything. He is a good person and he will understand you. If you behave and are strong in your choice, everything will turn good- just trust yourself and the power of life! God bless you ;)

[> [> Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband
Author: Julia (still confused...) [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 06/ 7/09 12:23pm Thank you ladies. I still haven't told him. I'm really scared. I know he would not ask me to have an abortion but what if he leaves me?? I just want to keep this baby and have my family back together. Any advice for ways to tell him?? Thanks again

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Unwanted by the father, and am back with ex husband
Author: Antonella [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 06/ 8/09 6:56am I think you are both adults and you know how to face this situation, since you have had already kids together. I think he will understand you and help in some way, but he will be also aware about what/how it happened, so just be real and sincere to him and show him you undestand your own responsability. good luck and take care!