| Subject: Re: No good option |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 11/ 7/07 11:31am
In reply to:
Tammy
's message, "No good option" on 11/ 7/07 10:33am
Hi, Tammy,
I am so glad you came!
To begin with, let's look at who is being responsible and who isn't. I don't know what your "sex life" is like. I do know these days that a lot of men are VERY demanding. They want all the attention, and they don't want to share it with anyone else, not even their children. True fatherhood means wanting to protect, defend, provide for, etc., their children. Your husband is pretty irresponsible and immature.
You would have every right to show him the door. But would that be wise?
Since you are praying, why not pray that God will cause him to have a change of heart toward you, and really develop a sense of responsibility, and that he would cherish all four of you? One thing that is good is that he is involved in counseling. Right there, that is a huge step forward. Why pray that harm will come to your baby because he isn't being the real man, husband, and father he should be?
Now ask yourself if you would harm either of your other two because of what your husband has done, and because he is irresponsible. Seriously. Your baby is real, and he or she is depending on you for your protection, and it sounds like you are the only one who would really protect him or her.
As for abortion, how would that solve anything? You would have committed violence against yourself and your baby. It could disable or kill you so you couldn't care for your other two. It would take a terrible emotional and spiritual toll on you. Most marriages don't last after abortion. It could easily destroy what's left of your marriage. Not only that, but you could cause grave emotional and spiritual harm to your two boys and your husband, not to mention depriving other family members of a person they would undoubtedly dearly love. (If one of our children had an abortion and destroyed one of my grandchildren, I would be devastated, and I even told them growing up that I would take some pretty drastic steps if any of them ever did that.) On the other hand, God may have sent you this child to heal your family. I have seen this. My sister has four children. Prior to the birth of the fourth, things were pretty bad, but the fourth healed most of this. You don't know God's purpose in sending this little one to you. Trust in Him. He knows what He is doing, and this baby is no accident. Also pray that God would keep you both, and give you the strength to deal with the current situation. He will. He has promised to do so. Among other things, this is a huge test of whether or not you will honor God and His decision to give you a child. So tell God, I don't even want to WANT this baby, so You will have to help me.
May God bless you with the strength and courage, and bless your husband with the desire to cherish all of you. He promised that he would, and now he needs to live up to his promise. It's ridiculous for him to go have an affair because he doesn't have your exclusive attention anymore. But you also need to pray that you will have the strength to forgive him. We are all sinners, and we make mistakes, sometimes egregious ones. If you can, make it a point to have a "date" once a week. Concentrate solely on enjoying each other's company.
Please keep in touch. We will be here for you all the way, no matter what.
Hugs,
Pat
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Re: No good option