Re: pregnant... need advice -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: pregnant... need advice

Author:
Shellie

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Date Posted: 12/ 9/06 9:18pm
In reply to: Mary 's message, "pregnant... need advice" on 12/ 8/06 8:40pm

Hi Mary,

I'm happy to see you're giving yourself time to think. Many women rush to make a decision, and this is definitely not one that should be made in haste. An unplanned pregnancy is one of the scariest things to face. It's normal to want OUT of it. It's normal to want things to "go back to normal".

You need to realize though that a termination will not send you back in time before the pregnancy. You will then have to live with the fact that you ended your first pregnancy. Many women who choose to abort suffer with guilt and regret for the rest of their lives. So remember that an abortion won't erase this.

Right now you're scared--a very normal reaction. Even women who plan a pregnancy can experience a sense of fear about becoming a parent. Be careful not to let fear be your guide. Many times our fears are much worst than what reality proves to be.

How does your boyfriend feel about the pregnancy? How does he feel about terminating/continuing? Are his thoughts influencing your decision? Do you think a future with him is a possibility?

Does your family know of your pregnancy? Are they supportive?

I'd love to hear more about your situation. And I'd like to better explain my thoughts, so I do look forward to talking with you again. Feel free to post here as often as you like. Sometimes just writing out your thoughts can be helpful.

Take care,

Shellie

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 12/ 9/06 11:24pm

Hi, Mary,

I think what you said about adoption is a clue to how you know you will feel about this by the time you give birth. Your worries and concerns are a temporary situation. You know you will love your child.

Your child is now completely formed, though still small. I urge you to try to have a 3D ultrasound. Meet your baby. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby! Many women have been in your position, either thinking that abortion is their only choice, or thinking they won't be good mothers. We are pregnant for nine months for a reason. It is so we can prepare. The fact you waited this long and you feel like a deer in headlights tells me you probably don't want an abortion, even though you feel it is your only choice. Is it because you feel you can't go to school and raise a child? Well, I did it. By the time I graduated from college, I had four children, three of them preschoolers. If I can do it, so can you!

There are many people who are willing to help you so that you don't have to be alone. They can help with the practical and financial problems, and with learning how to be a good mother. I have raised seven children, and I am here to answer any questions you might have. I would be delighted! One thing about motherhood is that you have a chance to grow into it. Taking care of a baby is not complicated at all. Just keep it simple.

Examine your heart. What do you really WANT to do? Do you want to harm your baby? You must make a decision you can live with. I think you realize abortion is forever. Once you have an abortion, you can't take it back. So many, many women would give anything to take it back! Make sure you know exactly how developed your baby is, and what abortion will do to him or her. Get information. The more information you have, the more satisfied you will be with your decision. Don't expect the abortionist or his staff to give you accurate information. They will lose a sale if you don't have an abortion.

Here is a good site to get information and help:

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/

Good luck to you! Feel free to come here any time. We will be here for you, no matter what, and we will pray for you.

Hugs,
Pat