Re: pregnant... need advice -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Wednesday, April 15, 19:22:31

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice

Author:
Pat

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 12/ 9/06 11:24pm
In reply to: Mary 's message, "pregnant... need advice" on 12/ 8/06 8:40pm

Hi, Mary,

I think what you said about adoption is a clue to how you know you will feel about this by the time you give birth. Your worries and concerns are a temporary situation. You know you will love your child.

Your child is now completely formed, though still small. I urge you to try to have a 3D ultrasound. Meet your baby. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby! Many women have been in your position, either thinking that abortion is their only choice, or thinking they won't be good mothers. We are pregnant for nine months for a reason. It is so we can prepare. The fact you waited this long and you feel like a deer in headlights tells me you probably don't want an abortion, even though you feel it is your only choice. Is it because you feel you can't go to school and raise a child? Well, I did it. By the time I graduated from college, I had four children, three of them preschoolers. If I can do it, so can you!

There are many people who are willing to help you so that you don't have to be alone. They can help with the practical and financial problems, and with learning how to be a good mother. I have raised seven children, and I am here to answer any questions you might have. I would be delighted! One thing about motherhood is that you have a chance to grow into it. Taking care of a baby is not complicated at all. Just keep it simple.

Examine your heart. What do you really WANT to do? Do you want to harm your baby? You must make a decision you can live with. I think you realize abortion is forever. Once you have an abortion, you can't take it back. So many, many women would give anything to take it back! Make sure you know exactly how developed your baby is, and what abortion will do to him or her. Get information. The more information you have, the more satisfied you will be with your decision. Don't expect the abortionist or his staff to give you accurate information. They will lose a sale if you don't have an abortion.

Here is a good site to get information and help:

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/

Good luck to you! Feel free to come here any time. We will be here for you, no matter what, and we will pray for you.

Hugs,
Pat

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice

Author:
luka
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 12/10/06 5:02pm

I agree with the above. Also wanted to let you know from my own personal experience that i have had planned and unplanned pregnancies and had that deer in headlights feelings with both. Theres allways moments where you wonder if you can do it and have everything work out ok. While ever you have a decision like this it's easy to think of the worst case scenario, it's much easier to dream up some horrible fate when you're allready afraid but the reality of motherhood is often pleasantly surprising and not half as frightening as you might fear. Thats not to say that there aren't adjustments to be made but just to say that you can't know what the future holds for you even without having an unplanned pregnancy. If you allready feel that giving your baby up for adoption would be too difficult then i think thats a pretty good indicator that you allready feel love for this child and would make a wonderful mother. You're not feeling ready i know, i wasn't either but your baby is here now. It's not just an idea in your mind it's a reality that's all too easy to dismiss(or abort) when you can't 'see' what you have inside of you. I think that if you can have an sonogram even a 2d one and still feel that you can go ahead with an abortion then so be it. But you'll find when you look over at that screen a pefect miniature human being will be kicking and waving his or her little arms about floating happily inside of you it becomes nearly impossible to deny the reality of what is taking place inside of your body. You won't be able to help but want to hold your stomach and smile. I realise i come across as being biased against having an abortion and i am. But by no means can i judge you if you decide to have one as i have had more than one. Thats why i know that for me having those abortions only compounded the problem for me despite my less than ideal circumstances. My state of confusion about continuing the pregnancy and my fear and dread was also laced with a little specail feeling too. I was scared but i also knew deep down that something very special was taking place. I felt that loss when i had an abortion and my confusion and fear was relpaced with deep searing regret and helpless rage (at myself and the abortionists) because i coudln't take what i had done back. I felt it instantly afterwards, this emptiness like a deep aching to have my baby back. I wish that someone who had been through it before me could have explianed this to me before i had gone ahead with my abortions so that is where i am comming from telling this to you.
If you don't continue your pregnancy you will most definately be needing some support afterwards because its not an easy road. Unplanned pregnancy and motherhood has it's difficulties too but none that you are helpless to do anything about and there are alot of people and places out there ready to support you through that as well.The end result is a positive life affirming one that anyone could be proud of. Motherhood is ultimately a rewarding experience. Where there is life there is hope.
Please do come back and let us know how youre feeling and whats happening for you regardless of your decision.