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Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice Author: luka [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 12/10/06 5:02pm In reply to: Mary 's message, "pregnant... need advice" on 12/ 8/06 8:40pm I agree with the above. Also wanted to let you know from my own personal experience that i have had planned and unplanned pregnancies and had that deer in headlights feelings with both. Theres allways moments where you wonder if you can do it and have everything work out ok. While ever you have a decision like this it's easy to think of the worst case scenario, it's much easier to dream up some horrible fate when you're allready afraid but the reality of motherhood is often pleasantly surprising and not half as frightening as you might fear. Thats not to say that there aren't adjustments to be made but just to say that you can't know what the future holds for you even without having an unplanned pregnancy. If you allready feel that giving your baby up for adoption would be too difficult then i think thats a pretty good indicator that you allready feel love for this child and would make a wonderful mother. You're not feeling ready i know, i wasn't either but your baby is here now. It's not just an idea in your mind it's a reality that's all too easy to dismiss(or abort) when you can't 'see' what you have inside of you. I think that if you can have an sonogram even a 2d one and still feel that you can go ahead with an abortion then so be it. But you'll find when you look over at that screen a pefect miniature human being will be kicking and waving his or her little arms about floating happily inside of you it becomes nearly impossible to deny the reality of what is taking place inside of your body. You won't be able to help but want to hold your stomach and smile. I realise i come across as being biased against having an abortion and i am. But by no means can i judge you if you decide to have one as i have had more than one. Thats why i know that for me having those abortions only compounded the problem for me despite my less than ideal circumstances. My state of confusion about continuing the pregnancy and my fear and dread was also laced with a little specail feeling too. I was scared but i also knew deep down that something very special was taking place. I felt that loss when i had an abortion and my confusion and fear was relpaced with deep searing regret and helpless rage (at myself and the abortionists) because i coudln't take what i had done back. I felt it instantly afterwards, this emptiness like a deep aching to have my baby back. I wish that someone who had been through it before me could have explianed this to me before i had gone ahead with my abortions so that is where i am comming from telling this to you. If you don't continue your pregnancy you will most definately be needing some support afterwards because its not an easy road. Unplanned pregnancy and motherhood has it's difficulties too but none that you are helpless to do anything about and there are alot of people and places out there ready to support you through that as well.The end result is a positive life affirming one that anyone could be proud of. Motherhood is ultimately a rewarding experience. Where there is life there is hope. Please do come back and let us know how youre feeling and whats happening for you regardless of your decision. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice Author: Andie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12/10/06 11:21pm I believe I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 21 and to be honest I'm not 100% positive that I'm pregnant. I won't even be able to take a home test till this weekend and I believe without a doubt that I am (I'm already spotting). I have no idea about waht to do and have the "deer in the headlight" feeling too. I'm so overwhelmed with anxiety also. I know how you feel.

[> [> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice Author: Melanie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12/11/06 6:18pm Hi Andie, As you can see by Mary's post your feelings are not at all uncommon! In fact, I'd say they are not so far from the norm in many cases. I have responded to Mary in the other thread she started, so if you look there I imagine my response to you would be similar. Is there something we can do to help? Please let me know what you find out either way and if there is anything I can do to help. --Melanie

[> [> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice Author: Pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12/12/06 6:14pm Andie, I am a little confused by your message. You say you are already spotting. I would suppose that means you are NOT pregnant. Please let us know how the test turns out, and good luck with it! Hugs, Pat

[> [> [> Subject: Re: pregnant... need advice Author: Andie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12/13/06 2:37pm Actually I'm freaking myself out and can't tell whether I'm psychologically having these symptoms or I actually do have them. I stopped spotting on Monday (I had pinkish discharge on fri, sat, and sun). I feel really light headed and dizzy at times especially if I haven't had something to eat in awhile. I have oderless clear/whitish discharge frequently. I feel minor pains on my sides and just below my ribcage. I'm breaking out with acne. I also feel bloated and my face seems abit fuller. Now, the thing is I have had an ovarian cyst rupture in the past. I wonder if these could be symptoms of a cystic ovary. I may be stressing out over nothing too. The real icing on the cake with all this is that I have OCD and I can't help but obsess and catastrophize over this. I wish I could just take a home pregnancy test already to have some piece of mind. I didn't even have unprotected sex (my boyfriend and I started and then I freaked and made him put a condom on. He pulled out with condom out before he ejaculated). I know that it is a proven fact that one can get pregnant from pre-ejaculate and that's waht truely worries me. I've just moved in with my brother in for college ( I start in January) and am distraught over not having a job. Maybe it's all this stress on top of my ocd. I am a total wreck! Thanks for responding, it's helping me settle down. I can only hope that everything will be okay.