Re: Help!!! Single, pregnant and 40. -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Help!!! Single, pregnant and 40.

Author:
Lori

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Date Posted: 03/15/07 7:44am
In reply to: Beth 's message, "Help!!! Single, pregnant and 40." on 03/14/07 9:50am

Hi Beth,
I'm so glad that you have decided to keep the baby. This will be a decision that you want regret. I know you may be scared and confused but that is really normal were your experiencing a unplanned pregnancy.
You will be able to raise this child, after this child is born you want be able to imagine your life without this child. It can be scary when you start thinking about the financial end of things but you can do this. There are a lot of programs that are available to single moms. Have you tried contacting your local crisis pregnancy center? They offer free counseling and they also can give you information on what resources your local city, state has to offer.
To find your local crisis pregnancy center go to http://www.pregnancycenters.org/ . Just copy and paste this address in your web browser. You should be able to find a pregnancy center close to you.
If you need anything, someone to talk to or help finding a pregnancy center please feel free to email me any time. I will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Lori

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Re: Help!!! Single, pregnant and 40.

Author:
Donna
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Date Posted: 03/16/07 2:24pm

Hi Beth,
I am so glad that you came to this board. I really feel drawn to respond to your posting. Gosh I know I'll never get this out with as much meaning as it has behind it. But I'll try to explain.

First, I am so sorry that your family is not being supportive of your decision to have your baby. I would NEVER try to advise anyone to do something that if I were faced with wouldn't do myself. It would be soo easy I assume for some to simply advise to get "RID" of the problem. Would they do it for their own lives and baby? Probably not ! You mentioned that you are 40...I can relate because I am 45 now. I want another child more than anyone can imagine. I can't have one because I had to have a complete hysterectomy 10 years ago because of severe endometriosis. My husband and I are turning to adoption and praying for our future little angel to make their way to us...but the reason I mention this is because when I shared the news that I wanted another child, it wasn't necessarily my imediate family that had concerns but it was some of my closest friends that questioned my decision. I think comments such as you've heard and that I have heard come from Society's views on what we need to do with our lives when we reach the age we have..Like how in the world could you think of wanting a child at this age. Isn't it time to travel, to enjoy life without little ones, etc. I think Motherhood lies within each womans heart. There's no other person in the world that can "tell" another woman how they should feel if "We" want to be a mother again. It's painful when you don't have the support you long for when it comes to something that means as much as longing for a child means to a woman. You've experienced motherhood more than once. You know that in choosing to keep your baby, there will be many many wonderful things happening in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. I think it would definetly be more easy to tell your children that they are going to have a lil brother or sister verses telling them that they were but you decided to abort it because cousin so and so thought I should. They will witness what a person does when they are faced with some adversity and they will learn great lessons in how you handle this situation. They are of the age where they will enjoy this baby soo much.
Yes, there will be circumstances to figure out, but even in the most perfect marriages, when a baby comes along, there are circumstances to figure out...such as child care, finanaces, etc.
With your decision behind you to parent your baby...I say Congratulations Beth on making one of the best decisions you could have ever made ! I would tell all the family that you've made the decision that's right for you ! The right man for you and your family will come along wait and see !
Many Blessings,
Donna