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Wednesday, April 15, 17:42:08Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12345678[9]10 ]
Subject: Re: Decision To Make


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 09/27/06 8:37pm
In reply to: Amz 's message, "Decision To Make" on 09/27/06 2:30am

Hi, Amz,

You express such uncertainty about what you want to do. When you are not absolutely certain, you shouldn't go through with it! Abortion is forever, and you can't take it back. Your baby is depending on you for your protection, and you are the only person who can protect your baby.

Let me tell you a little about the situation we faced. We had months on end with no income whatsoever, and the total time like this was about six years. And we had seven children to provide for. That's about as extreme as you can get, I think. But we survived, and no one ever went hungry, and we didn't seek help from the government. We were able to make it, and sometimes the help we got came from a very unexpected place. At the time we had all those children (two are adopted), we were financially secure. But things changed. And they can just as easily change the other direction. The point is, things don't stay the same. I think if we could make it, you can, too.

Our closest children were 14 months apart, and several were two years apart in age.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your daughter will suffer if you have an abortion. Either you will not be able to mother her as well, or she will sense something is wrong and feel insecurity, or she will find out what happened, and she will feel survivor guilt. She will be afraid that if she doesn't measure up, you will do away with her, too. And there is a chance you will be seriously injured or killed if you have an abortion. It is happening a lot more often than we're being told. Your daughter could lose her mother.

I echo the statements made by other women here. Our children are incredibly close. They are so close that they help each other when one of them is in need, to the point where they even live together to share expenses if need be, including the married ones. It's not easy, but they make it work. At one point, four of them and one wife were all in the same household. I have lost track of the number of different arrangements like this they have had.

Ask yourself some questions. You would be harming your daughter's sibling. Can you really do that? Should you have to harm your baby because you have financial problems? Could you choose adoption instead? If not, aren't you saying that your problem is temporary and by the time your baby is born, you would welcome him or her into your lives?

You have plenty of time to work out your situation. Think outside the box. Start thinking of ways you can improve your situation. I know one woman who was desperate, and a friend helped her find a better apartment that was cheaper and closer to work, and that solved her problem! Crisis pregnancy agencies are very helpful, and can help you plan solutions to your problems.

Please protect your baby.

We will be here for you no matter what. We will be praying for you, and we love all of you.

Hugs,
Pat

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Decision To Make


Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 10/ 2/06 1:03pm

Wow... I'm almost at a loss for words, which is rare for me. In your post I get a sense that this isn't what you want, that you are just feeling stretched beyond your limits. Having two children so close together can be a real challenge in the beginning, especially. However, after a time it is not unusual for two so close in age to be closer in other ways.

I know things are really difficult for you now. It does seem that pregnancy is poorly timed more often than not, yet more often than not it does work out. It's that fear of what will happen tomorrow that can get the better of us.

You said that you would be doing this for your little girl, and if that is the case, you might want to rethink a little. Your little girl will have to see you go through the loss, and she will likely notice that something is wrong. How will this affect you overall? Because your emotional state after an abortion will affect her as well.

If an abortion is not really what you want, I would urge you to seek out assistance instead. There are Crisis Pregnancy Centers in the UK that can help with some physical needs, can offer emotional support and referrals to other resources in your area.

Hang in there. And I agree with Pat in that we will be here regardless and praying for you.

--Melanie



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