Re: How long -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 00:34:21 05/23/16 Mon
Author: Mary (Babe strong. You are not alone)
Subject: Re: How long
In reply to: Sue 's message, "How long" on 21:04:35 05/22/16 Sun

Rob is right. You deserve better.

I know how difficult is stop loving them. Even though my husband did what he did (abusing his own son and lying to me) it is very difficult to stop loving them. That means your love was true. It will pass with time. I've been in this for more than a year and still in disbelieve that all this is happening. I miss him so much and just today walked where we used to walk and live and my heart husrts to much.

However, we need to stop thinking on the past and focus in the present. Try to kick the past everytime it comes to your mind.
Also we need to stop to think as victims. I insisted on this because if we don't we can spend years stuck in this situation and we don't deserve more time wasted on this.

In regards to your kid I appreciate the feeling you have. It is not fair. Sue, I promise you that she will realize of who you are and who he is at some point of her life. Try to talk to her always with the true including what he has done to you, obviously according to her age, but say it. Our kids are very confused so give her enough and powerful tools so she can create at her own time her criteria and own judgement. Do not forget, our kids aren't ours. Precisely that is the reason you need to focus on you and fight for your things but now that she is able to decide who to live with be strong and prepared. I know it sucks. I'll pray for you tonight for your your strength and clarity.

Mary

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Replies:

Re: How long -- Todd, 06:16:46 05/23/16 Mon