Subject:  Coming Soon |
Author:
Brian Kellam
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Date Posted: 23:17:02 01/24/03 Fri
When you think you have things figured out, think again. It's been six years since the events that altered my life occurred, and it still affects the way I live every single moment of my life. Every facet of my relationship with Pete has been built on what happened during those four days in June of Nineteen-Ninety-Six and the aftermath of his departure from my life.
Therapy has proven to be very helpful, but like anything, you get out of it what you put into it. When I first visited Will, I was skeptical as to what he would be able to do for me. It took me two years of semi-regular appointments to realize therapy isn't about what he could do for me, but rather what I could do for myself. A therapist-one who truly understands the purpose of therapy- is nothing more than a catalyst for the entire healing process.
When Pete left, I was twelve years old. Now, at eighteen, I can look back and see what a traumatic experience it was and how far-reaching it's effects are on me. Age brings wisdom, or so says the old adage. I'm not certain wisdom is what I've gained in the years since everything happened, but I do know one thing for certain: nothing is ever over. The experiences we have shape the person we are in this moment and for the future, for better or worse. All we can do is hope that the events in our lives lead us in a direction that will prepare us for what is to come and give us some happiness, for life is never static. The landscape is constantly changing, and if all we do is look behind us, we won't see the chasm ahead until it's too late.
What follows is something I've never discussed in any detail, not even with Pete. Events occurred when I lived with Kathlene and Chris Forn that still haunt me. I don't like to think about them, and I have done my best to forget them. Will said, however, that until "they see the light of day" they will continue to affect my present. I write these papers at his urging and against my better judgment. It's good that I have no commitments over the next two months, because it is very likely I will not be in a condition to meet any kind of obligations.
Even the thought of writing the events that occurred fills me with dread. It's fortunate that I have the support and love of my boyfriend and family to keep me safe as I walk the minefield that is my past.
Some of this may seem similar to what I have written before, but I must confess some intentional inaccuracies were introduced into the previous edition of these events. I did so in an effort to sanitize my time with the Forns for the benefit of anyone who read it. Now, at this point in my recovery, it is time to tell the truth about my time with Chris and Kathlene. I apologize in advance to everyone around me as I write this, for I know that their lives are about to be disrupted by my problems yet again.
-Brian Andrew Kellam, 18
October 13, 2000
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