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Date Posted: 16:19:43 04/22/02 Mon
Author: Rowan and Tristan
Subject: I'll go with no one
In reply to: Marz and co. 's message, "But who won exactly?" on 09:46:28 04/22/02 Mon

Rowan smiled down at Ablina when she rushed up to him in the hallway and claimed him as her prisoner. He wasn�t exactly the biggest fan of kids, but she really was a sweet little girl. His eyes studied her dark, Nerombian eyes; smooth, burnt skin; and long auburn hair, and he decided she was going to grow up into quite the exotic beauty one day. Only five more years and he�d be able to see the fruition of that, though he wasn�t generally the type to lust after fifteen-year-old girls. And really, right now, she was far too young as well as cute to be thinking too critically about the future like that.

Leave it to him to be the one to do it, though. He chuckled to himself, squeezing her hand as she grabbed it and led him back to the kitchen, making him take a seat next to Jeremy. He tossed the boy a rather surprised look before glancing at Marz, his eyes widening slightly when he saw that the youth was staring right back at him. They both averted their gazes, Marz to stare at his java and Rowan to suddenly become keenly fascinated with his hands lying clasped loosely on the table. He cleared his throat lightly and shifted uncomfortably, desperately fighting the excitement already beginning to pulse inside him again.

Marz muttered something into his mug, his voice tinged with sarcasm, and Rowan glanced up again to stare at him. It was all he could do to not jump across the table and straddle the handsome youth around the waist, to push their mouths together and suck on that moist tongue again, maybe slip his hands below his pants and return the favor a little bit.

He groaned and shifted again, trying to concentrate on what it would feel like right now to take a very, very, very, very, very cold bath. He imagined being buried to the waist in a block of ice, while freezing water was dumped over his head, matting his hair down against his back and making him shiver uncontrollably. He tried to think of things to turn him off, like, maybe, Justin with no clothes on, or the dead bodies of one of those were-spiders, or Tristan changing into dragon form and biting his head off.

None of it worked. Fortunately, the tension in the room was slightly broken when Jeremy placed his hand on his thigh. The touch was like a jolt of electricity zinging directly to his groin. Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he turned to give the boy a tight smile, battling between the urge to grab his hand and shove it further, and the strange desire to leap up and slap that hopeful look right off his bruised little face.

He managed to pull himself together, enough to shake his head gently. Honestly, he couldn�t believe the kid was begging for it in public now. Damn, I must be good, he thought, chuckling slightly, but then another thought crossed his mind: You�re the only thing he�s ever had, you jackass.

Before he had a chance to say anything, though, Noyko suddenly burst into the room, stopping directly before Marz to say something about Tristan needing his help. Rowan studied the boy�s beautiful, almond-shaped eyes, smiling absently when Marz moved to shift Ablina from his lap to Rowan�s own. There was something odd about the look on Noyko�s face�but before he could detect what it might be, the look fell, to be replaced with an intense sort of sadness, as the boy moved to sit down next to him.

He laughed when Ablina pulled on his hair and told him that he and the others would be invited to her wedding with Marz. �Why, thank you,� he said gravely, giving her the best half-bow he could at the moment, considering she was sitting in his lap. Jeremy then spoke up again, reaching out to touch a warm spot on Rowan�s neck while asking him where he�d gotten it.

�Somebody gave him a love bite!� Ablina piped up, bouncing in his lap and giggling cutely at him. He blushed and rolled his eyes, pinching her nose playfully.

�I should pinch that right off, you nosy little busybody!� he teased, making her giggle even more. It was his turn to shift Ablina, placing the girl in Noyko�s lap this time. �Ask Marz where I got it,� he said, smiling nastily down at Jeremy as he stood up and strode out of the room. It didn�t take a genius to figure that one out; and after all, they�d both come back to the kitchen within a span of minutes.

He jogged down the stairs quickly, making his way to the underground stream in the basement. Quickly, he stripped his clothes and stepped into it, making little yelping noises as he plunged his entire body into the freezing stuff. He stayed like that for a few minutes, shivering uncontrollably and squeezing his eyes shut, until he felt sufficiently sexless. Once he stood up and hurried back to his clothes, he used his shirt to dry himself off, pulling his pants and boots back on in record time.

He returned to the kitchen feeling much better, even flashing everyone present his friendliest smile as he moved to pour himself a cup of java before reclaiming his seat. �Sure you can sleep with me tonight,� he said quietly to Jeremy, giving him a playful wink. �But I�m not going to do anything to hurt you, so don�t get your hopes up�much.�

~*~*~*~*~

Tristan whispered his guilt aloud as if it were a mantra, begging himself for forgiveness when he knew all along he could never give it. He felt something entering the room, as if a tremor were running through his soul, and he paused momentarily, choking on his own breath. He sobbed silently, but there were no tears in his eyes, because it just wasn�t that kind of misery. Not yet, anyway.

That someone who had entered then sat down on the floor beside him, pulling him lovingly into a pair of warm arms. Lips caressed his neck, kissing him softly and kindly, and suddenly he knew a sense of peace. Slowly, his racing heartbeat began to steady, and he could breath without the air catching in his lungs again.

�What�s wrong?� The words were murmured comfortingly into his ear, as the hands slowly began to rub his back and rock him like a child. Tristan was still too drunk to really know what was going on; for all he knew, Noyko had returned and was trying to take advantage of him. He wanted to push the person who held him away, but his hands continued to clutch at the blanket around him, as if his partial nakedness was almost as great a sin as whatever he�d been about to do in that bed.

After a minute, he lifted his head and opened his eyes, staring into the face so near his own. He reached out and touched Marz�s cheek, tracing his jaw line until he got to his lips. Then, without really thinking about what he was doing, he pressed his mouth against his lover�s, tasting the inside with his tongue hesitantly as if he were searching for something.

A strange fire seemed to ignite within him when he realized who it was that held him. He smiled, breaking the kiss, and buried his head against Marz�s neck. For a moment, he was just happy about this wonderful sense of normalcy and rightness that came from being close to Marz. It didn�t take long for his guilt to rise up again, though, and unfortunately, his combined earlier rush of excitement, fear, and sheer adrenaline slowly began to cleanse the wine from his body.

�Masha,� he breathed, then he cringed and shook his head. �Marz�I thought he was you.� He could feel his heart thumping against his chest when he wasn�t talking. The noise felt almost deafening, and he opened his mouth again, just so he wouldn�t have to listen to it anymore. �I was saying your name, I was sure I�d said it, and then I found him and�kissed him, thinking it was you.�

Finally, he looked up, his slightly dilated eyes wide with fear and guilt. �I�m sorry! I thought he was you. But he kissed me back, and started touching me, and I was touching him, and it was dark, and he t-took my pants off and asked me what position�what position��

He choked on the words, momentarily unable to go on. His brain was still buzzing too much for him to question the necessity of relating every little thing. This was Marz, and he had to tell Marz everything.

�But when I found out it wasn�t you,� he continued, his voice hardening, �I pushed him away. But he�d already touched me! It was too late. I pushed him away, but it was too late! Before you, no one had ever touched me before, and I wanted it to be like that forever and ever, but now it�s all ruined because I drank that Jann shit and screwed everything up between us!�

He tried to draw in a shuddering breath and succeeded only minimally, another somewhat dry sob choking him again. He pulled back from Marz a bit and stared at the ground, a tear finally falling from one eye to slip off the tip of his nose.

�I�m sorry,� he said again, very quietly. �I feel so dirty and filthy�and I understand if you don�t want to�with me�� He halted abruptly and shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. �I haven�t been drunk in so long. Everything�s so weird. I think I hate myself even more��

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