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02/ 5/25 10:52:03 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ]

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Date Posted: 01:12:31 10/17/03 Fri
Author: theButterfly
Subject: some problems
In reply to: theButterfly 's message, "See Spot. See Spot run. Run, Spot, run!" on 15:02:11 10/10/03 Fri

The basic problem, of course, is style. Maybe it's true that they shouldn't be trying to emulate Frank Herbert's style, but it would be nice if they would at least spend a little time to make it better--and they could certainly learn a few things from the greatest writer of all time.

For one thing, FH made it a point not to talk down to his readers. He went ahead and made the assumption that the people reading his books were intelligent people who could figure things out for themselves. Apparently, BH and KJA have no such inclination; at times, their style actually becomes insulting to read. FH wanted to put more into a novel than the telling of a story. He wanted to write a story that readers could actively participate in. Do the new writers care about such things? No. It takes up more brain power to listen to Jay Leno’s monologue.

Then there’s description. Now, I’ll be the first to say that description is a good thing, but you have to know how to do it right, or it will be boring; and sometimes, you need to stay ambiguous to keep your story believable. FH used a lot of description, but his were always interesting, and he knew when to refrain from it. Sometimes a sentence of description should just be left out for believability. A couple of examples:

page 495: “Even in the silence of space, the shockwave seemed louder than a crack of thunder.” Do I really even need to say anything about this one?

page 591: “The DREAM VOYAGER crossed the orbit of Mars, then threaded a gap in the asteroid belt.” That doesn’t even make sense.

And sometimes, entire chapters should be left out for the sake of a reader’s sanity. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that these authors don’t make ANY effort to condense their stories, removing unnecessary words. Chapters describing events like Aurelius Venport bringing a special stone for Zufa Cenva don’t add anything to the story. If it turns out that such information is necessary, it can be condensed to as little as a single sentence, and the novel will be better for it.

What was possibly the biggest problem with HOUSE CORRINO was that many plot lines had been described for so long that they had long since become stale, and it became ever-increasingly an effort to continue reading. Every one of the prequels probably should have had at least two or three hundred pages of material cut out of them, and they would have been stronger novels because of it.

Well, I’ve already gone on for quite a long time, so I guess I’ll continue nitpicking later. Believe it or not, I am actually trying to keep from using too many unnecessary words.

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