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Date Posted: 17:21:55 04/24/03 Thu
Author: arglass
Subject: I'm embarrassed to post this but I need to get it out ( more & long)

I've failed as a Mom to Jordan and I don't know how to get him back if it's possible at all. I'm so mad and hurt right now. I have to post this in pieces cuz I'm at work and don't want anyone to see my cry.

I picked Jordan up right at the bell cuz he had a haircut appt @ 3:15. He new yesterday and this morning about the appt so it wasn't a surprise to him. As soon as he saw me he said he wasn't going to get a haircut and said that a few times while driving to the place.

The salon is in the mall so Jordan sits on the benches out in the mall area and refuses to go in. I try talking him into going in but he won't. I drug him in and he sat in one of the chairs in the waiting area and simple refused to get his haircut. Tried running out, etc. After about 5-10 minutes of trying to get his to get his haircut, he runs out again and I said, I'm sorry and asked if it was okay that we left. The hairdresser said sure.

Yes, I pulled his hair and spank the side of his leg once we got to the car. I told him he's grounded and can't play with the neighbors.. He's going to study his spelling words. He can't play playstation and I'm taking his Yu-Gi-Oh cards away. When I need to go shopping, I'm not taking him with. (He acts this way more than I care to admit.)

I'm not sure what he was thinking as we were driving to daycare. He got out of the car and slowly walked to the door but wouldn't go in. (I wasn't going to leave him w/o Sandy knowing he was there.) I took off my seatbelt to walk him in and he said he'd go in by himself. He then started crying and of course didn't want anyone to see him cry. I know what he wanted but at that time I really didn't want to give him a kiss. (We always kiss before he goes in to daycare after school.) I then get out of the car and he walks to me, hugs me and then looks at me like he wants a kiss so I bend down and kissed him. And then he wiped his tears and went in to daycare.

I am just sick of his attitude and I don't know what to do about it.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Angie

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