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...i dont like the temporary rhyme in the middle - it seems odd and messy though i DO like the actual stuff you are saying in them 'unholy drone' and 'moan' and all that. i quite like the 'swallowing love' part its very descriptive and effective, in my opinion. 'softly' to sleep doesn't work for me either - doesn't fit in with ther rhythym of that section of the poem. actually the overall rhyme is pretty sloppy. (again i'm not one to talk) I think the rhyme works well except from the 'drone' and 'moan'. I dont like the unholy bit either. It is very good though and i like it a lot, the tone is really felt and the rhythm is really clear in most parts. -- james, 17:23:56 04/30/01 Mon