Re: Advice -- Unofficial Chris Cornell Forum

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Date Posted: 23:24:58 02/28/06 Tue
Author: chico781
Subject: Re: Advice
In reply to: chico781 's message, "Advice" on 15:59:14 02/28/06 Tue

Well, I just want to thank all of you guys for your advice. I think you're right. I need to do this for myself. I need to take that step forward because I can't be in limbo anymore.

Thanks, my friends.

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Replies:

[> Re: Advice -- chrys, 01:36:26 03/01/06 Wed [1]

chico,

started to reply earlier, then got called away by some people inviting me to dinner, and i guess i never "approved" my original post. darn it all, i am trying to remember.

i think for you it's something you need to know, what she is feeling. it's obvious you really love her, and that you have a lot of history. can you call her up and say you want to sit down and talk to her about where things are with the two of you? does she know that you were upset about her suggesting you guys see other people?

the waiting is the hardest part, there is no doubt to that, and the uncertainty. better to find out i think, one way or the other, where this is going.

also sometimes when people get really depressed, and then seem really a lot happier soon afterwards, that happiness can be a bit of a farce. not necessarily an intentional one at all. usually there is just so much relief that the worst is over, or the relief of being on meds, but i think usually a lot of depression just takes longer than that to get through. i am only saying this b/c she may still be dealing with some depression, though not as severe, and that may have an influence. it's like my friend, the one who attempted suicide, and now seems so very very chipper. inside she may still be confused or struggling, though not as much as before, and it's just something to be aware of.

also i think it is somewhat common for ppl in their 20s (i am guessing she is b/c you said that thing about college and how she was never alone through it) to question who am i, what am i doing with myself. i wasn't aware of that, and i worked w/a whole bunch of ppl in my age group at a camp for this one season and they were all soooo mean, like junior high exclusive mean, and an older friend of mine pointed otu that a lot of ppl in their 20s go through a time of real insecurity for awhile. since then i have heard that from a lot of people much older and wiser than i am. so some of what she's feeling can just be typical of the life-stage and age. of course, that doesn't make it any less important or anything, just pointing that out.

sounds like you are a totally caring and supportive guy, and hopefully she will see that. either way i think it's best to talk to her and let her know how you feel and ask her where she's at with it all. now that you've taken some time off maybe it is time to re-evaluate where things are and where they're going.

anyway, i hear ya and feel for ya in your world of hurt. it's no easy place to be, but you love her, you can do it, i can tell : )

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