Re: Advice -- Unofficial Chris Cornell Forum

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Date Posted: 09:13:59 03/02/06 Thu
Author: lump
Subject: Re: Advice
In reply to: chico781 's message, "Advice" on 15:59:14 02/28/06 Tue

Chico - I have so much respect for you just simply for putting your heart aside and doing what you thought was best for this girl that you love. That is love. Most people wouldn't stand by and wait like that. That takes a shitload of strength. Even though it hurts, I hope a little part of you takes some pride in your ability to do that for another person.

Depression sucks and I can totally understand how much it can affect how you perceive another person - even one that you love. Maybe though she should see a psycologist or psychiatrist instead of a therapist though. It sounds like she's getting TOO MUCh advice. A psycologist/psychiatrist is not supposed to give advice. I think councelors and therapists ought to keep their mouths shut too, to be honest.

I don't have any advice on what to do - I think you'll follow your heart.

But I do have one interesting side point. I don't know how old you two are. Before I graduated from high school, I decided that my life goal was to have no regrets. Young and niave, I didn't realize it's impossible. Anyhow, I was in the work program and worked at B&W in Barberton. There were at that time so many smart and inspirational woman who worked there. I really looked up to them. So I asked, one by one, what their biggest regret in life was. ALL of them said moving straight from their parents house to their husbands' house - metaphorically - was their biggest regret. NONE of them had taken time to live on their own (and being an older generation - most of them couldn't have anyhow). They all felt like they never really got to have that time alone to figure out who they were. They were daughter, then wife and mother and nothing in between.

I took that advice to heart. I thought it was pretty shocking. I moved out of my parents house a month and a half after I graduated from high school. I only got less than a year (before I got knocked up and my bf moved in), but I did that for me and for those ladies. Maybe your girl needs the same?

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[> Re: Advice -- chico781, 10:22:05 03/02/06 Thu [1]

alight, your insight is I think, "right on the money." I don't think she's playing me either although she is definitely confused about a lot of things. Man, I am just so confused on what to do. I swear that I want to pull my hair out.

Lump, I think what you said about those ladies is very interesting. Her sister said that same thing. I know that she's been talking about renting out a house with her friend. I told her that I support her living on her own and that we don't have to get married right away. Would you say that living on your own completely excludes the possibility of her being with me? By this I mean, does living on your own mean being completely alone?

Thanks again,

Sergio

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