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Date Posted: 13:14:04 02/21/06 Tue
Author: lump
Subject: 
Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out!
Ok, I'm 31. I'm in my prime, I guess. But do you others - and maybe especially those with a few years on me - just burn. I mean like "I need it right now!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW!" in the middle of the day when it's not possible? I was almost ready to go see if there were any lonely truckers at the truck stop. I mean that badly. Is that normal or am I a pervert? My clock is ticking - but it shouldn't be ticking that fast yet!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 13:38:03 02/21/06 Tue [1]
A woman is in her prime in her 30's so they say. You need to find yourself a young 18 yr old guy ready to fill your sexual needs at anytime. Just kidding I don't know anyone male or female who isn't always thinking about sex. I say you should call your BF and tell him he needs to come home straight after work for a sexual emergency!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 13:39:25 02/21/06 Tue [1]
P.s I didn't want to say anything because this is about you, but I have been finding the opposite lately, I think there may be something wrong with me.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 13:49:01 02/21/06 Tue [1]
and what do you mean "guys stay out"!? LOL
I wish we could edit/add on.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 14:00:52 02/21/06 Tue [1]
LOL! I figure they're always that way as a normal state.
TG - I've been that way too - just dispondant. But never for long. I'm really a dirty whore. lol. But I've been there - usually when I feel underappreciated or am pissed off.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 14:16:59 02/21/06 Tue [1]
"TG - I've been that way too - just dispondant. But never for long. I'm really a dirty whore. lol. But I've been there - usually when I feel underappreciated or am pissed off."
~~~ O.K good I thought it was because I had my tubes tied in December and so I was worried that was the reason. I think I better start looking for a man who will appreciate me more and not piss me off.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- chrys, 15:36:02 02/21/06 Tue [1]
okay i'm a couple years behind, and probably just needing to make up for lost time, but i can't think of ANYTHING else. it doesn't help that things w/the guy are a sort of weird stage and got sort of emotionally intense and now i think he's pulling a disappearing act, i'm losing my mind! lol in a couple more days/weeks i will be with you about the bored truckers!
btw i like tg's suggestion of calling yoru bf up for a sexual emergency, needing immediate response!
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Re: sex -- rdtwo, 18:00:07 02/21/06 Tue [1]
sorry, i've entered..this thread ;)
jess' initial post got me all hot
and bothered. haha. lump, no worries
about feeling what you're feeling. it doesn't
mean your biological clock is on a downward spiral.
it just shows that spontaneous (huh huh) arousal can
happen to either male or female at anytime of the day
or night. =) did i ever mention that some have said i
resemble chris cornell? haha. well, not actually, cept
for the facial hair. anyhoo, good.. lick! =) peace. m
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- Leo, 21:28:15 02/21/06 Tue [1]
I can remember only two times in my 30s when i felt like that. Once was after a Tool show, so thats obvious, and the other was last year, when I finally realized it wasn't sex I didn't like, but the guy I was with. My 30s sex craze finally showed itself, and I'm anxiously awaiting the next opportunity.
I think you are totally normal.
I've heard the 40s are like that too, so there is hope!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 08:30:18 02/22/06 Wed [1]
RD2 - I guess it was nice to see a guys take on this! :)
Leo - you mean I got 20 years of this stuff??? LOL! I know what you mean - I was told a couple weeks ago that he can't just be turned on and off like a switch and that he didn't always get it when he was in his prime. No one ever told him, I guess, that you can make suggestions but that you NEVER complain about sex. Lucky bastard doesn't know how many guys are there would LOVE it if their wives still wanted it. From them. I take that as "You don't turn me on, quit." So I drew back - maybe that's it - and the sex has been boring and sparse for weeks now. I won't make a first move and put away all my little outfits and shut up. But I'm resenting having to wait around for him to "want" it. The complete overlooking of my own needs and disregard for my sexuality is a complete turn off. I may not be the prettiest girl in the world or have the best body, but I'm a tazmanian devil in the bedroom. To waste that is a damn shame.
So I guess the truckers aren't looking so bad. LOL! j/k
Chrys - did I tell you my best friend is 30 and still a virgin? If it works like that for you - imagine what a monster she'll be!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 08:41:48 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Well, some guys can't perform on command either.
Isn't it sad though that sex just gets boring and it's not fun and pleasurable anymore. It's like it becomes basic and to get it over with, because you have the need or the urge. That sucks!!
We need and want passion!!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 09:02:54 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Well, when you think about it, besides the G-spot, which - I don't care who you are - you can't deny it - 1/2 the regular orgasm is in our head. If we go in loose (figure of speech people) and ready to go - it's more possible than if we go in not really wanting it. Or go in wanting it and realize after about 10 minutes that he hasn't even touched you. Unfortunately for us, so much of what happens during sex comes from the mood we're in. They out to make some sort of blocker drug for that!!!!
And tg - he wasn't being asked to perform on demand. I was just being plain and open about it - like you guys all see in here I'm about as open as open gets when it comes to sex - I think he felt intimidated. I have been wearing little outfits, buying things to try (like lotions and creams and gels), shaving completely even though I hate it and feel like a 12 year old - he likes that, and being a little more verbal about it(because he told me to). I've been wearing make up every day and doing my hair a little better. I wasn't saying "right now" while wearing my flannel cow pjs and picking my nose. I don't think I've been unreasonable at all. So I have just stopped. Perhaps that's the reason for yesterdays problem. It's like Simon said last night - like putting gloves on a cat.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 09:04:49 02/22/06 Wed [1]
The crazy thing - back to the original point of above thread - is that if we had good sex we'd feel better! But if we feel bad going in, we won't.....it's a full circle.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- 23, 09:19:23 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Like RD2, sorry for jumping in here, but....
Just a little bit from one guy's perspective.
Don't give us the option to say no. In fact, don't even ask. We are slaves to our bodies, for the most part. If we're hungry, we eat. If we're tired, we sleep. If we're horny, we take care of that. In other words, don't appeal to our heads, appeal to our bodies if you're wanting to get into our pants.
To get graphic: next time you're wanting some, don't mess with the outfits or whatever. Start giving him a backrub, then work your way to his junk. He must answer the call of someone fondling his bits. I don't care how tired/disinterested/whatever he was feeling up until that point, that will trigger a purely physical reaction that can't be denied.
Back to your discussion....
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 09:22:12 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Girl, I wish I could help you! I would strap it on and you could get the gel out, but your too far away.
Just Kidding! a huge just kidding, I'm only a wannabe lesbo. just kidding
That's what I meant about performing on command, men feel intimidated.
You need a boyfriend.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 09:24:57 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Oh and just get down and start giving him a blowjob, enough talking and more action. Anyway he means he wants you to tell him what you want when you are doing it. He really doesn't want to talk about it.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 09:41:54 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Tried that before too, because that's what I've read - yes I've made a study of the whole thing. 75% of the time my hands are removed. Apparantly, he doesn't want me to make that move (which goes against everything I've read) but at the same time he gets upset that I don't (which leads to the fact that he just must not want me at all). The whole outfit, etc. thing is just trying to let him know - because once we had this conversation:
"Why don't you ever wait up for me wearing a little outfit or something?" (note - he works nights and I work days and I was told that's so that we're "not up each others asses")
"I used to. You never came home or you never noticed."
"I didn't know that."
"Yeah, I used to light candles and all that stuff."
I know, I know - I need to quit complaining because I'm beating a dead horse. He's like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. The more I've tried to work things out - the more I see it. He's also a junkie. Pot doesn't bother me nor does it constitute a "junkie". But his new thing is to take other people perscription drugs for anxiety. And this makes him downright scary. After he's done having his eyes roll around in his head and sleeping (the other day he was making this weird gurgling noise and I asked him if he was alright. He said his chest was tight and he wasn't able to get a good breath. HELLO.), he becomes a little paranoid and kinda mean (spoken, believe me I wouldn't take any other kind). I also heard some constant sniffing the other night in the basement - but I don't have any proof so maybe he and/or his buddy just had a runny nose. This all also has a bad effect on our sex life, but apparantly these pills are worth it to him.
I'm actually done. Really. I'm just taking my time trying to figure out how to end it as positively as possible. I heard him say he doesn't want me anymore, but that he'd be really pissed if someone else got me - so you'd think it wouldn't be that hard, but it is. I have a son to consider and finances I can't handle alone (although I'm not afraid to pick up a second job - can I do that to my son?). It's tough and I'm on my own on this one. And trust that I am completely fair - some of this is my fault. But sex is the last straw, you know?
This thread wasn't supposed to be about that anyhow. It's about sheer need!!!! :)
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 09:50:43 02/22/06 Wed [1]
TG - I do that more than we have sex.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 09:51:56 02/22/06 Wed [1]
That's why I said get a boyfriend! Yeah meet someone else.
Is he your sons father? He would have to give you child support. Trust me it's easier dealing with your own problems than always dealing with someone elses. He's a pain.
When my husband became a cokehead (that was one of his bipolar things) I became a private investigator in my own home and I put the baby monitor in the bathroom to catch him and all kinds of stuff to keep up with what he was doing, it made me crazy.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- 23, 09:53:53 02/22/06 Wed [1]
"I'm actually done. Really. I'm just taking my time trying to figure out how to end it as positively as possible."
Sounds like it to me. The quicker you're able to get out and on with your life, the better, IMO.
Good luck.
:)
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- lump, 10:04:07 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Yeah - I believe that's where this is going. I've lost alot of sleep and driven myself crazy up until recently trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I've stopped - because that's crazy. I know what the underlying problem is and I don't need to catch him doing something bad to legitimately say it's over.
I don't want child support from him. We had that conversation before and he said he'd never give child support. He thinks that $ should go into a savings account for the child's use only and doesn't understand that it should help with expenses like food and mortgage payments. Anyhow, because of his view and these things he's doing - it's just not even safe to ask for (or have the state force out of him). I don't want to be bound to him at all. Lately, one of the scary mean things I was talking about is that he's told me our son is an asshole (a few times now). Now what kind of Dad says his 11 year old son is an asshole? I don't want to be bound to him, and I don't want my son - now at a very vulnerable age - to be subjected to that kind of behavior. Plus I expect the break up would send him into a downward spiral - and I don't want to be required to let my son be around that. Don't think I don't want them to have time together - because that's VERY important, and I do. But I don't want it to be required of me no matter what's going on - because I expect the worst. So no, no child support.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 10:09:45 02/22/06 Wed [1]
This is just a warning, but if he's doing pills and you think he may be doing coke, WATCH OUT! I'm serious if he starts doing that you are in for a nightmare. Sex will be the least of your worries.
You are so much better off without him, I've been seperated since October and having control over my life is amazing. I'm not dependant on an unreliable person and I live without some things, because I am on a tight budget but I am so much happier.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- amadaun, 17:29:52 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Lump, you're waaay too good for this guy. If he is into pills, and isn't interested in you sexually,it's time to cut loose. And he could be dangerous mentally and possibly physically to you son. [calling him an asshole- I'd like to kick his butt for him] Get rid of him now. Better things are waiting for you,[and your son]. :-)
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- tg, 17:38:56 02/22/06 Wed [1]
Only someone out of their head would call their child an asshole.
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- rdtwo, 15:56:54 02/23/06 Thu [1]
i'd just like to add that one of tg's
responses was the best idea. ha ;)
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- chrys, 18:49:03 02/23/06 Thu [1]
yeah, i am also glad to hear that you are planning to leave. it sounds like a good idea given everything you have said on the old forum and here, and especially this thread. that asshole thing is over the top. does he say it to you or does he say it directiy to his/your son? i'm sure it's not an easy thing, but you are a strong woman, and it really sounds like even w/him there, you are doing most of it all on your own anyway.
on your friend who is 30 - omg watch out! i'm serious once i startred it's like omg so many lost years to make up for. when he's here i can't think of anything else. we'll be watching movies or talking about daily life or organized religion, or he'll be showing me his writing or whatever else, and all i can think is, just shut up and get over here. and when he's not here, all i can think is how i want to call him up b/c of a sexual emergency as tg put it, lol. i can't even think about like, anything that's happened b/w us w/o feeling like i'll go out of my mind. lol wonder if this phase will eventually even itself out, or i will always be this wacky?
but yeah when it finally happens for your friend, beware!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- Leo, 22:23:13 02/23/06 Thu [1]
Jes - i think the hardest part is making the decision and it seems you've already done that. Everything else will work itself out, for me things luckily fell into place (only reassuring me that I was doing the right thing).
The other thing is Nate is old enough to start seeing his dad for who he really is. Res is starting to, and I feel bad cause it hurts her, but there's really nothing I can do to stop it.
I understand your stance on the support issue, but I wouldn't discount it completely. I receive a hefty sum each month, and I'd be in sad shape without it. I could definitely get by on less, but in PA at least it depends on what each person makes, and the standard of living the kids are used to. The kids do get more expensive as they get older too. I would at least take what you can get. He also pays for most of their activities, which is a chunk of change too. Right now I am concerned about life insurance, cause he is about to get married (insert vomit), and different scenarios are going through my head as to where my kids stand.
I think you're on the right track, and before you know it, you and I will be doing our traveling!
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Re: Sexual Question for the girls - guys stay out! -- a guy who didn't stay out, 12:24:10 02/24/06 Fri [1]
This thread was hot, then it got less hot, but that's OK because I'm pretty fast.
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