Would allowing priests to marry -- Catholic Friends Forum

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Date Posted: 05:54:04 08/23/07 Thu
Author: Joan
Author Host/IP: ip68-0-253-131.ri.ri.cox.net / 68.0.253.131
Subject: Would allowing priests to marry

prevent them from molesting children?

Many people think that celibacy is of the reasons some priests molested kids. They beleive if the priests were allowed to marry, they wouldn't be attracted to kids.

What do you think?

Joan

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Replies:

[> Re: Would allowing priests to marry -- Catie, 09:23:17 08/23/07 Thu [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

I believe that's the most absurd thing I've ever heard. It's archaic thinking.

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[> [> I'm with you guys. -- Joan, 09:53:49 08/23/07 Thu [1] (ip68-0-253-131.ri.ri.cox.net/68.0.253.131)

The next time I hear someone say that, I'm going to ask them, If you were forced to divorce today and you were *forced* to take a vow of celibacy, would you turn to sex with children?

Of course they would be shocked and say, no. It's a preposterous leap.

Imagine how much more ridiculous that scenario is for someone who *chooses* celibacy!

Joan

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[> Re: Would allowing priests to marry -- Neysa, 09:29:18 08/23/07 Thu [1] (user-38lciig.dialup.mindspring.com/209.86.74.80)

No allowing priests to marry would not prevent them from molesting children. There are married men who have been arrested for molesting their children.

In other faiths married Protestant ministers have been arrested for molesting children. I remember seeing on tv a married Jewish Rabbi who was arrested for molesting children.

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[> It's the testosterone thing more than anything else, I suspect........... -- Barb, 11:18:42 08/23/07 Thu [1] (clgrtnt4-port-62.dial.telus.net/161.184.46.62)

an overabundance. Not a Priest thing, or a Minister thing or a Rabbi thing. Not a married man thing or a singles thing. It's all about the individual and what's inside of him, or so I believe.

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[> Re: Would allowing priests to marry -- Catie, 13:23:06 08/23/07 Thu [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

The three young children I have watched a few times for my cousin, the oldest was molested by her step-dad. On the surface he was a very handsome, normal looking, well adjusted individual. That happened almost 3 years ago. What normal person molests a 6 year old? What she has been through is unspeakable. She is a beautiful young girl and all of her life she will carry the scars of that horrible ordeal. At long last, this past week, Florida sentenced him to Life in Prison, without parole. Finally!!

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[> [> For safety reasons, they should all get life -- Joan, 05:15:14 08/24/07 Fri [1] (ip68-0-253-131.ri.ri.cox.net/68.0.253.131)

w/o parole. They can't cure it, so they should be kept away from society.

Joan

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[> [> [> Joan, I agree 100 % ! -- Neysa, 08:21:24 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-2inik9v.dialup.mindspring.com/165.121.81.63)

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[> [> [> Yes u r right. Now the law is changing. Florida is working hard because of previous mistakes. -- catie, 11:04:39 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

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[> At the risk of sounding cheap , I saw -- Catie, 06:47:18 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

an extremely handsome young priest on one of the news channels. He was porfessional model material. I don't wish to come off as being crude here, but he was so very masculine, more so than one usually sees in a priest. I wonder if that priest has a lot of women who seek him out just because he is so pleasant to look at and to hear speaking. I'm curious then, is it hard to go to confession, or to confide in a priest who looks so "worldly" as opposed to one who looks fatherly or better yet, homely? :)

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[> [> "Professional"...sorry for the typo. -- Catie, 06:48:27 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

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[> [> Re: At the risk of sounding cheap , I saw -- Neysa, 08:19:50 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-2inik9v.dialup.mindspring.com/165.121.81.63)

When I used to go to confession, if we had a choice I always chose the younger priest. Sometimes only one priest was having the confession and we didn't have a choice.

It depended on their personality if I could confide in them or not. In high school I went to confession to a young, good looking priest. He looked like he was newly ordained. I said Father, I don't pray all the time. He got very angry and loud, and started yelling at me. All I thought was was a 'nut'. Next thing I knew a nun had me by the arm and pulled me out of my chair. ( we were behind a screen). The nun started yelling at me because I made the priest angry.

When I was in grade school we had an elderly priest who looked very fatherly. You couldn't confide in him, he had a very bad temper. When I was in 6th grade, and 8th grade girl ( I don't know if it was true) she told the priest she had sex. He pulled her out of the confession box and started to slap her a few times in the face.

For me it was not looks but their personality that made me decide if I could confide in them.

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[> [> [> oops ! typing error........... -- Neysa, 08:25:50 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-2inik9v.dialup.mindspring.com/165.121.81.63)

I meant to say : All I thought was what a 'nut'

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[> [> [> Neysa............... -- Barb, 08:41:52 08/24/07 Fri [1] (clgrtnt2-port-225.dial.telus.net/161.184.42.225)

It seems to me that this is not the way Priests should be attending to people's needs and concerns...or Nuns. I should think the ones you mentioned were the exception to the rule?

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[> [> [> Neysa -- Catie, 09:32:49 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

Well I do imagine my question was silly, and very shallow. I do know of course, it depends upon the priest as a person. I have experienced bad and good in ministers as well. Once while on tour for my college I had a seemingly very nice young minister to ask me out for a late supper. Scheduling didn't allow it. A few months later that guy showed up at college for a alumni reunion, with his WIFE!?!! I approached him and told him what a creep he was! He left town immediately. That guy went on to pastor a church in Illinois I heard. There are good and bad in all denominations of course.

I asked that silly question because the news anchors were even commenting on the priest and how he didn't fit the usual ideal of a priest. One teased about becoming Catholic. He laughed and said he got that reaction a lot. Since he was all "that" I wondered if he had problems with young ladies coming to confession not really interested in religion or salvation, but just to get to talk to him.

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[> [> [> [> Catie...... -- Neysa, 14:06:24 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-38lcie4.dialup.mindspring.com/209.86.73.196)

I thought you asked a very good question. I felt that your question was NOT silly or shallow. I agree that there are good and bad in all denominations.

All I kept thinking was WOW, Catie, it's a good thing your schedule didn't permit you to have that late supper with that young minister. He was really a JERK! Wonder if his wife ever found out what a jerk he is and divorced him?

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[> [> [> [> [> Neysa I don't know, but I made sure the elder leaders who he answered to knew about it. -- Catie, 16:10:40 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Good I'm glad you did, Catie ! -- Neysa, 17:29:43 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-2inik21.dialup.mindspring.com/165.121.80.65)

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[> [> Re: At the risk of sounding cheap , I saw -- Joan, 10:14:41 08/24/07 Fri [1] (ip68-0-253-131.ri.ri.cox.net/68.0.253.131)

For me, no. Confession is hard, period.

I'm an old fart, so the young good-looking priests remind me of my son. There's no attraction. But then I've never been attracted to young men or even men my own age, which by now isn't so young. :-)

I know what you mean about the other priests, though. They really look kind of out of it. They wear really dorky glasses. They seem to be misfits no matter what group they're standing in.

FWIW, certain women are attracted to priests no matter what they look like. It's the same thing some women have for men in uniform. Some of the women who go after priests, I think, love the challenge of getting a man who isn't supposed to have a love life to succumb to her seductive wiles.

Joan

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[> [> [> Oh....that reminds me.....What was the name of that great mini series............ -- Barb, 12:28:50 08/24/07 Fri [1] (clgrtnt5-port-135.dial.telus.net/161.184.48.135)

in the 1980's where Richard Chamberlain played the Priest and he fell in love with a young woman and she had his son, and he didn't find out about it until years later. Great series! Someone here has got to remember it.

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[> [> [> [> The Thorn Birds, also with Rachel Ward & her hubby, Brian something...! :) -- Catie, 13:22:48 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

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[> [> [> [> [> Yup! Thanks, Catie....I think his name was Brian Brown?............ -- Barb, 14:37:57 08/24/07 Fri [1] (clgrtnt4-port-64.dial.telus.net/161.184.46.64)

Did you watch it? I loved it! Haven't seen it since then so my memories aren't perfect. Hey, it's about 25 years ago and I'm losing my faculties. I thought Richard Chamberlain was lovely in The Thorn Birds though.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Yes! Brian Brown, that's it. I watched some of it. I'm not sure -- catie, 16:09:28 08/24/07 Fri [1] (h69.42.91.75.ip.alltel.net/75.91.42.69)

why not all though. Too long ago to recall. Yes, I thought both Richard and Rachel did a superb job of acting.

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[> Yes Barb,.............. -- Neysa, 14:11:21 08/24/07 Fri [1] (user-38lcie4.dialup.mindspring.com/209.86.73.196)

they were indeed the exception to the rule. I have met a lot of nice and wonderful priests and nuns.

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