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Subject: Rationalization Author: Nicky [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 16:17:49 09/30/25 Tue Do you find you use rationalization rationaling the spankings you received to minimize the memories of the pain you got from the spankings. What would happen if you would eliminate this rationalization and really allowed to feel the memories of your spankings? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:47:36 09/30/25 Tue I don't know what would happen, but I don't try to rationalize anything. I'm not a psychologist, but our minds tend to block out moments of trauma. Without some kind of therapy, we have limited access to those memories. We also want to find reasons to not blame those we love for what they've done, and maybe even elevate them as our saviors. As far as the actual physical pain of spankings, I was overcome by the pain. I do remember the feelings before and after, but it was difficult to process as it was happening, much less remember it accurately years later. I can only say for sure that it hurt. :) [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Lindsey [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:32:06 10/01/25 Wed Dana, Similar for me as bare bottom spankings as a teen were miserable shameful events with overwhelming emotions and serious sting. It’s not really possible to “remember” the actual pain - just a fact that sometimes I felt like I couldn’t take any MORE the wooden spoon kept snapping1 But clearly my other feelings can make me blush even years later. My shaking -knees fear, my utter embarrassment at being bared and my uncontrollable bawling and kicking and ending with a humiliating spanking dance are etched in my mind. I was spanked by both parents, always bare bottom until I turned 16. You? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:47:59 10/04/25 Sat Lindsey, same for me. Spanked by both parents at different times, always bare, last one at 15. It was a small hardwood paddle that kept snapping and cracking on my behind, causing the most fire-hot, unrelenting, overwhelming sting. There was heart-racing, stomach-churning, bottom-clenching fear before the spanking, and a terrible tantrum during. Everyone in the house knew when someone was getting it, and no matter how cool and grown up I felt when I was doing whatever had gotten me in trouble, the result was being reduced to a baby by the paddle. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Nicky [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 19:04:33 10/04/25 Sat Do you resent it? Do you justify it? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:18:10 10/05/25 Sun At the time, I resented it A LOT. It is hard to imagine a teenager who would not hate getting a spanking from their parent. Even if I had been very bad, and deserved to be punished, I could not justify such pain and humiliation. However, corporal punishment was a bad part of life I had to accept. I forgave my parents, but I do not think spanking children is a good thing. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Lurker [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:31:12 10/07/25 Tue Dana were your spankings as a teen in some way abusive? Were they way too long or for every little thing? Were your parents abusive in other ways? If any of that is the case that's one thing. But if you were very bad and the result was a good spanking that you hated well too bad. You many just be anti-spanking by nature. Hard to tell from the little you have written. But if you felt you had to "forgive" your parents then maybe there's more to the story. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dana [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:47:46 10/08/25 Wed I was not spanked often, and certainly not for every little thing. Life would have been hell in that case, and I doubt I could even love parents who were so abusive. Some spankings I got were under circumstances where I had been very bad, and punishment of some kind was called for. I got blistered for those. There were also a few times where I was not really at fault for what had happened, or I was careless and did not intentionally do wrong. Those spankings taught me nothing other than life does not always make sense and is not always fair. So I did forgive my parents because they tried their best, made some mistakes as humans do, and the love between us was stronger than any resentment. I do not like spanking children, and I do not believe it is the safest and most civilized method of punishment possible. However, it does work out okay in some families because there are all kinds of people in this world. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: ALGuy [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 02:13:27 10/14/25 Tue Better than jail [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: CaringThroughAction [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:36:53 11/26/25 Wed Dana, I agree with you in that for some, spanking may not be the best method of correcting behavior. Every family is different... personalities, environment, closeness, etc. Some children and teens are never spanked and turn out just fine. Others in that category not so responsible and functional in the adult world. It's important to listen to those with all experiences. Including yours, where there was a lingering resentment. It's good you forgave them. That does not mean you have to think it was "okay". It does however, free you from the emotional bondage that major resentment can have on us as people. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Jennifer [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 20:04:32 10/07/25 Tue I do not rationalize them they are painful but not abusive but the are a consequence of either bad behavior or bad.choices my mom uses a jokari paddle . I sorry not because it hurt but i disappointed my mom makes it hurt more . [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Nicky [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:27:15 10/10/25 Fri I was curious what everybody thought. I was spanked bare bottom, but i realized that my mind had a cognitive dissonance with one part being resentful of the spankings I received and the other part of my mind rationalizing that the spanking was necessary for me. I enjoyed going through this tension: in the end i realzed that the spankings were not good to me causing trauma. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Nicky [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:15:20 10/10/25 Fri ⚠️ Trigger warning: discussion of childhood corporal punishment. I’m asking whether others were spanked by their parents as children and how you felt about it then and now (non‑consensual parental spankings). Please keep replies respectful. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: N [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:22:41 10/13/25 Mon I guess my question is in the wrong forum yes or no [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Alfred22 for N and others [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:13:19 11/26/25 Wed This discussion was and is one of the best. I would suggest that the trauma of spanking, the life-long influence and memory of it, are almost entirely due to the intensity of the pain. When spanks are clearly bearable but perhaps firm enough to suggest the seriousness of the offense, things might go a lot better. Jokari paddles are quite thick and never break. Spanking with one so as not to be too intense would require a really sensitive touch. It could be done, however, and might keep resentment down significantly. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Anna to Alfred22 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:46:37 11/26/25 Wed Hi again Alfred22, I use a Jokari paddle to spank my kids. I do not spank them as you say sensitive, but I also do not spank hard. I spank depending on the child and why they are getting a bare bottom paddling. Normally their bottoms are a dark crimson color when I finish spanking them. They are sore for two days at least. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dean [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:21:39 11/26/25 Wed Anna, what do you mean you do not spank hard? Doesn't a dark crimson bottom that is sore for days require a hard spanking with the paddle? What would their bottoms be like if you spanked hard? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Anna to Dean [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:21:25 11/26/25 Wed Dean, I spank with wrist action. I do not raise the paddle to strike their bottoms. I give long spankings, approx. 2 minutes or so. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Dean [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:38:19 11/26/25 Wed Oh, I think I see, Anna. You just snap your wrist so the paddle is not driven deeply into their bottoms. But you just keep snapping away on the bare for a long time, and that builds up a fire? The skin gets redder and redder until it is dark crimson? There must be a real fuss by the end of the spanking. It sounds like that would make the surface on the bottom very very tender for a few days, but without causing too much bruising. So you don't spank hard, but I bet nobody wants to be a bad boy or girl in your house. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Michael to Anna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:41:28 11/26/25 Wed Hi Anna, I share Dean's confusion about your spankings not being hard. In my mind a dark crimson bottom that is sore for a couple days suggests a fairly hard spanking. And your other posts also give the impression that you are a hard spanker (not judging or anything, proper spankings should be hard). Did you grow up with harder spankings than what you give your kids and that's why you don't view your spankings as hard? What is your idea of a truly hard spanking? Have you ever given such a spanking? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Rationalization Author: Alfred22 for Anna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:29:41 11/26/25 Wed Anna, I do support spankings that induce those familiar the reminder twinges when a spanked person carelessly plops down on a hard chair. They inspire vivid memories of the lesson the spanking was teaching. And I also think you are doing them a favor when you employ many spanks rather than just a few super intense ones. Is that the effect of wrist action? One thing you won't have to worry about is the Jokari shattering along a grain line. A friend of mine got a splinter from her Dad's homemade pine paddle. I stick by my view that Jokari paddles are heavy and some sensitivity is called for due to their "Thud." [ Post a Reply to This Message ]